“Joel is a Nerd!” and Other School Stories is a collection of short stories based on the life of Joel Severe, which chronicle his school days, from going head-to-head with the school bully to being insulted by his worst enemies.
Story 1: “Joel is a Nerd!"Edit
It was just a normal day in the life of young boy Joel Severe. He was just walking to school, minding his own business. Now Joel had never bothered anyone. He never beat anyone up, annoyed anyone purposely... yet he was treated quite poorly. Yes, it's unfair, but that's just a normal day in the life of Joel Severe.
As he was walking to school, admiring nature and whatnot, he bumped into some random person! The two fell to the ground. "Hey! What's your problem?!", the person in an angry voice asked. "S-sorry, I-I didn't mean to ---", Joel started. He looked in the face of the person, and the person looked at him. Joel had seen this person in school before. Apparently, so had this person. "Hey, it's you! I saw you before! You're, uh... oh, you're that nerd! Ha ha. You're a nerd!", the person laughed ruthlessly. "Well, no. No I'm not a nerd. I'm Joel Severe, future author/artist", the boy explained. "Ha! You're Joel the Nerd! Joel is a nerd! Joel is a nerd!", the teenager walked away, laughing like a maniac. Joel grimaced and continued on his way.
As soon as Joel entered the cafeteria, everyone stopped and looked at him ominously. Joel stood there, frozen in his tracks as he had a staring contest with about 100 people. The silence was broken when some person with the same voice as the teenager from before shouted, "Joel is a nerd! Joel is a nerd!" The room erupted in laughter. "Joel is a nerd! Joel is a nerd!", they chanted. "You know what? Shut cho mouth, all a you!", Joel shouted. But the room paid him no mind and continued shouting, "Joel is a nerd!" Joel shouted in a fit of rage, and yelled, "SSSHHHHUUUTT UUPPP!" But no one listened to him. So, as a last resort, Joel went over to the teenager who had started all this, and slapped him across the head! "Yo, did you just slap me, boy?", the teen asked, disgustedly. "Yeah I did! Ya know why? 'Cause... cause... cause you're a NERD!", Joel shouted. The room stopped laughing and glanced at the teenager. "The teenager's a nerd! The teenager's a nerd!", they chanted.
The teenager was disgusted beyond repair. Never before in his life had he gotten a taste of his medicine. Extremely angry, he got from his seat and approached Joel, breathing angrily. "Heh heh. How's it feel to be on the victim's side for once?", Joel asked. The teenager punched Joel! He flew back and hit the wall! "Ugh...", Joel wiped the mark off his face, revealing a smirk. "Oh, so ya think that's funny?!", the teenager yelled in anger. He grabbed Joel by the neck and hurled him at the table! Joel hit the table, which broke in half! Joel emerged from the debris, with that smirk still on his face. "Heh heh. You can punch me all you want, but that doesn't take away the pain", Joel said. The teenager, foaming from the mouth, sauntered forth to kill Joel! Just then, the principal BURST into the room, wielding twin handguns.
"Stop right there, the teenager!", the principal shouted. The teenager froze in fear. "So ya wanna beat a poor boy, eh?", the principal asked. "W-well, he ---", the teenager started. "Shut yo fat mouth, boahy! Get over my office, so I can determine how long I can suspend you for!", the principal growled. "But he --!", the teenager pleaded. "Get over there now before I pump your guts full of lead!", the principal threatened. The teenager gave Joel a dirty look and walked out the door with the principal. As the teenager left, embarassed beyond his wildest dreams, the room continued to chant, "the teenager is a nerd! The teenager is a nerd!" And Joel sat down, pleased with himself, and listened to their chants.
Story 2: Test of CourageEdit
And so it came to pass that Joel jumped off the building as it exploded behind him! Joel flew through the air as fire and debris fell past him! Joel took out his trusty grappling hook and shot! The hook caught onto a flagpole, and Joel glided through the air, hanging on my a mere thread! Joel was lifted into the air and jumped, soaring high! He landed on the roof of some random building. He cautiously looked around... and then made a mad dash to run off the building. No, he wasn't commiting suicide, why, he was trying to find the fastest way to get to school. However, if he DIDN'T make it, then he COULD possibly kill himself! His life flashed before his eyes as Joel crashed into the window, shattering glass!
Joel landed on the classroom floor, lifeless. The teacher walked up to him, and poked him with her yardstick. "Huh?", the boy muttered as he lifted his head. "You ---", she started. RRIINNGG!! The bell rang, signifying that students had to be within their classes or they'd receive an untimely detention. "Yes! Whoo-hoo!", Joel jumped up, shouting with joy. He had beaten the clock - and his plan was successful. "Not so fast, Joel-y Boy. It's 4th period, and you don't have me until 5th", the teacher said with a smirk. Joel's smile quickly turned to a disgusted look. "Well... that's pretty disturbing", Joel replied. He hastily dashed out the door and down the hall.
Joel busted into his true 4th period class, only to interrupt the teacher during his speech. "And thus he snuffed -- What the --?", the teacher said disgustedly as he glanced at Joel, "You're late." "Heh heh. Yeah, I got my classes mixed up", Joel said with a sheepish smile. "Joel, it's been a month of school. You should have memorized what classes you have and when you have them. Sadly, by law, I have to give you detention", the teacher explained. "Law? What law?", Joel asked. "Well... the school law of course. The Superintendent makes them. He's like the President of the School District. Now sit down, we're about to take a test", the teacher ordered.
"A test? What test?", Joel asked. "You know, the test that counts for 99.999999% of your grade. I've been telling the class about it since the first day of school", the teacher explained. "Well, I haven't heard anything about that. And what's the other 0.0000001% of the grade?", Joel asked. "Oh, that pop quiz we took last Thursday. Now sit down!", the teacher growled. Joel went to his seat and sat down. As the teacher kept yammering, Joel talked to his best friend Jordan, who sat down next to him. "Man, Jordan, I haven't heard anything about this 'test'!", Joel lamented. "Well, you spent most of your time drawing in your binder you probably didn't hear him. I, on the other hand, studied all night. Why, I didn't even get to do my homework", Jordan explained.
"Sigh... I'm gonna fail this. Oh well, so much for my great grades", Joel muttered. "Hey, you never know what happens. Of course, I'm obviously gonna pass because of my tidious studies, but who knows? You might come out of top too!", Jordan encouraged. "Jordan, shut up! The test is being administered!", the teacher growled as he passed out numerous tests. Soon, Joel was handed the thickly-paged test. "Gulp...", went he. "Alright", he thought in his mind, "It's multiple choice. If I just randomly pick answeres, I might get some right." With that, Joel just randomly starting circle answers, not even knowing what the heck he was choosing.
The next day...
"Alright! I got a 100!", Joel cheered as he held up his test. "Hurry up and look at your grades, children. I haven't marked them down in my gradebook yet, so Ill need you to hasten", the teacher announced. As the students conversed about their scores and whatnot, Jordan walked over to Joel, sadly sulking. "Hey, what's wrong, buddy?", Joel asked. "I failed! I got 0%! Oh, I'm such a fool! I'll be a bum on the street like the rest of my family!", Jordan wailed. "Well, our grades aren't in the gradebooks yet. We could switch our scores", Joel suggested. "You'd do that? You'd risk your own future success in life for me?", Jordan asked. "Sure", Joel replied, and he erased his name on the test and replaced it with Jordan's. Jordan did vice-versa.
"Okay, class! Get me the tests now!... or else you won't live to see the light of day...", the teacher threatened. Joel quickly looked around. He spotted another boy named Jordan, best known for picking on innocent children, who was looking intently at his test, with a score of "90." Joel walked over to him and said, "Hiya, Other Jordan! Can I see that test of yours?" "No way! I ain't letting this baby out of my sight!", he refused. "I see... hey, look over there!", Joel shouted. "Where?", Other Jordan asked, sticking his head out the window. Joel grabbed the test and replaced it with his. Joel hastily made a few changes to it, as the Other Jordan mindlessly glanced outside. "Other Jordan, get your head out of the window before I break your head!", the teacher threatened.
Joel handed the teacher the test, just as Other Jordan glanced at his test, and noticed the "0." "What the --?! Noooo!", he screamed in horror. "Heh heh. That's what you get for picking on people...", Joel muttered to himself. But Joel also knew he had done Other Jordan a favor. Why, if the other bullies knew that Other Jordan had gotten a "90" on the test, they would've classified him as a nerd. If you had read the previously story, you'd know that Joel knew how that felt.
Story 3: A Normal Gym ActivityEdit
Joel BUSTED into through the door! He fell on the floor and slid. The boy quickly picked himself and glanced around. The hall was full... full of teenagers. He'd have to find out some way to get through. He started to sprint! Joel crashed into a group of people and they all fell down! "Yo! What's wrong with you, kid?!", a teen shouted. "Shut 'cho mouth, boahy!", Joel shouted and continued to run. As he was running down the hall, he turned around to see the teen in hot pursuit of him! "Whoa!", Joel shouted as he ran up the stairs. The boy got to his locker and hastily put in his combination. He opened the door and pulled out his gym clothes. He then shut the door and ran towards the stairs, clothes in hand.
When Joel got to the top of the stairs, the teen - who was just a few feet from him - swiped at him ferociously! Joel flew back, hastily dodging the lunge! Joel then started to run down the stairs in which you walk up, the side of the stairs opposite of the teen. RRIINNGG!!! The bell rang, and numerous students began to race up the stairs! "Oh no...", Joel muttered, gravely. CRASH! The group of students pummeled Joel to the ground! "Aak!... Whoa!", Joel yelled in distress! He struggled to keep himself up, as he fought against the crowd! Joel finally hit the floor, then made a sprint for the Gym! Joel saw the locker room and hastily ran down the steps. Once there, he took a quick look and realized something so heinous... he was in the Girls' Locker Room! Joel quickly ran back up the stairs and down the hall, until he reached the Boys' Locker Room and entered there.
Joel quickly pulled some random locker door open! He took off his shirts, shoes, and pants, and stuffed the shirts/pants into the locker. Meanwhile, other students were laughing at Joel for his use of "tighty-whiteys" rather than the more manly "boxers." Embarassed, Joel hastily pulled on his gym clothes. He slid his feet into his sneakers, then pulled out an extra lock to seal the locker door. With his pants, shirts, and backpack safely tucked within the locker, Joel ventured into the Gym.
"Alright, stretch!", the three gym teachers yelled. The whole class of students started stretching and whatnot. As the students were doing such stuff, the teachers gave announcements. "The girls will report downstairs with me for yoga, whereas the boys are gonna stay up here for football!", the female teacher announced. There were various groans/cries of joy coming from the students. Once the stretches, push-ups, and "jumping jacks" were done, the girls ran downstairs, while the boys - such as Joel - stayed in their spots to see what cruel job the teachers wouldst have them do today.
"Kids... today we're gonna practice some elements of the footed-ball. For example, dodging the tackles. Today, we'll have a few taggers to try to catch everyone, and you won't know who's a tagger and who's not", the teacher explained. "What the --?! That'd be TOO intense! With, like, a million kids in here, and you have to dodge all of them, it's like Mission: Impossible!", Joel muttered to himself.
Soon, the game started and complete pandamonium broke out! "Hey!... Whoa!...", Joel muttered. He looked to the side and saw Jordan racing towards him! "Why, hey there, Jor --! WHOA!", Joel yelled as Jordan swiped at him! Joel jumped back and fell on the floor! "I'm-a tag you!", Jordan shouted as he sauntered forth at Joel! Joel rolled out of the way as Jordan hit the floor full force! "Whaaaa!", Joel shouted as he made a hasty run! This shout caused the person in front of Joel to turn around. This person was Matt... one of Joel's worst enemies. An evil smirk spread across Matt's face. "Oh no... Please don't let Matt be a tagger...", Joel muttered. Matt suddenly gave chase to Joel!
Joel pushed and shoved across the crowd, trying to escape Matt's clutches! "Ugh... Dwah... Aaaaahhh!", Joel shouted. He turned around, only to see a hand emerging from the darkness! Joel punched the hand out of the way! However, the swing was so strong Joel fell on the floor! He slid until he banged his head into the bleaches! Joel looked in front of him and saw Matt sprinted towards him! Joel ducked out of the way as Matt's hand hit the bleachers! Matt swung at Joel! Joel jumped back and kicked at Matt! Joel, out of the corner of his eye, saw a mysterious figure about to ambush him! Joel hit the ground, as the mysterious figure tripped over him and crashed into Matt!
This mysterious figure was Mike, one of Joel's worst enemies, only more ruthless and bloodthirsty than Matt! "Meet your new tagger...", Mike said in a deep, crackling voice. Joel backed up in fear, then ran with Mike and Matt in hot pursuit! Jordan jumped out of the crowd and held out his arms to catch Joel! Joel dodged the arms, as Mike and Matt crashed into Jordan! Joel looked around, trying to find out how he could escape! He decided to disappear inside the large crowd of people. Once in there, Joel smelled sweat in the air, and was pushed back and forth! "Waaah!", Joel shouted as he hit the ground! Numerous people tripped and fell on top of him! "Oof!", Joel yelled in pain. Jordan, Mike, and Matt glanced in his direction, and ran towards Joel!
Mike punched Jordan out, so he could get to Joel. Matt tripped Mike to the ground, and continued to the lead. Mike grabbed Matt's leg and threw him to the ground! Jordan and Mike then proceeded to beat Matt up! Joel got up and limped away. He approached the teachers with a busted lip. "Please... stop this horror...", Joel pleaded. Joel turned around, only to see Jordan, Mike, and a beat-up Matt racing towards him! "No! No, please! No, I want to live! What are you doing?! Nooooo ~!", Joel shouted as the three CRASHED into him! Joel hit the wall as blood gushed from him profusely!........
Joel woke up in the Nurse's office. "Are you okay? You took a nasty hit", the nurse said. "Yeah, I know. I --" RRIINNGG!!, went the bell. Joel got up and lurched forth at the door! "Wait, don't go! You are not well!", the nurse shouted. Joel BUSTED into the hallway, only to be knocked to the ground by a crowd of students trying to get to class! "Aaaah! Wait, no! Aaaahh!", Joel shouted as he was repeatedly stepped on! Everything went black....
Joel woke up in the emergency room in the hospital. "Er, looks like you took a nasty fall! I'd better call your parents to tell your parents of this", the nurse said as she exited the room, "Oh... and these boys are here to watch over you." Jordan, Mike, and Matt entered the room, clenching fists. "No! No, please! No! Oh no, I want to live! No! What are you doing?! Nooooooooooooo..........", Joel shouted as his voice faded off into the distance.
Story 4: A Brawl in the LibraryEdit
Joel entered the library and got on the computer. He had to do research for... well, a research paper. Joel sat down and logged on. "Hey kid, did you sign in?", the librarian asked. "Er... no", Joel replied. "You DIDN'T?!!", the librarian yelled, foaming from the mouth. "I--I forgot! I'm sorry!", Joel pleaded. "Sorry nothin', boahy! Rules are rules and if'n ya don't follow them, there's gonna be murder!", the librarian threatened. Joel fell out of his chair and crawled backwards in fear. "No...no!... NOOO!", Joel shouted. The librarian jumped over the desk and sauntered forth at Joel!
"(chuckles deviously) I've wanted to do this ALL my life!", the librarian laughed. She reached into her pocketbook and unsheathed a machete! She sliced ferociously at Joel! Joel ducked as the machete sliced through the desk behind him! Joel jumped up and kicked at the librarian! The librarian sliced Joel's leg! Joel flew back as his leg bled profusely! "Aaaaagggh!", Joel screeched in pain. The librarian sliced at Joel again! Joel ducked and punched the librarian! The librarian flew back and crashed into a desk which split in two!
Joel ran over and slapped the librarian across the face! The librarian rubbed her cheek, then sliced at Joel with the machete! Joel jumped in the air and knocked the machete out of her hands! The librarian swung at Joel! Joel ducked and uppercutted the librarian across the jaw! The librarian flew back and kicked Joel as hard as she could! Joel fell back and crashed through the door, landing in the hallway! Joel emerged from the debris only to see the librarian hurling various hardcover books at him! Joel ducked and jumped, evading most books, but one textbook hit him the stomach full-force! Joel flew back and crashed into room 224, the Science room! He crashed into a plie of hazardous liquids, causing the liquids to break through the containers and merge together! The combination of liquids caused an explosion!
The entire side of the school exploded in a burst of flames! Joel fell down with the large pile of debris. He emerged from the rubble with multiple bruises all over his body! The librarian, who had survived the whole ordeal unscathed, edged towards Joel with her machete. "Ugh... no... no, please! No! Oh no, I want to live! No, what are you doing?! Aaaaaahhhh!!!...", Joel screeched as the teacher held the machete over him, ready to deliver the finishing blow! Just then, the Principal showed up on the scene! "Stop right there, you!", he shouted. "Principal... you're here to save me...", Joel said, weakly. "What?! Joel, you're expelled!", the Principal yelled disgustedly. "Me? WHY?!", Joel shouted in anger. "Because you brutally beat the librarian here", the Principal explained. "WHAT?! It was HER who tried to kill --", Joel started. "Shut up and get outta here!", the Principal growled. "But --!",Joel tried to explain. The Principal pulled out a handgun, cocked it, and held it to Joel's head. "Go home...", the Principal threatened in a deep, crackling voice. O_O...
Story 5: Lunch LudicrosyEdit
Joel Severe walked into the cafeteria. "Ah! I have a feeling this is gonna be a great lunch!", Joel said, triumphantly. "Yo Joel, you're a nerd!", some guy insulted. "Yo Joel, your hairline looks like the Nike sign!", some guy #2 insulted. "Hey Joel, do you have 'herpes'? Oh wait, that's your face?!", some guy #3 insulted. "Well...", Joel said, disgusted.
Joel walked to his table, and took out his binder to start writing his stories. His friend, Jordan, came to sit next to him. "Hiya, Joel. I see you're working on some stories", Jordan greeted. "Yes, yes I am! Bask in its glory!", Joel said, holding up his stories for Jordan to see. "Hey, look! It's the two boyfriends!", some student shouted. The entire table erupted into a bunch of laughter. Joel & Jordan sat there, disgusted. "Sigh, it's so annoying for people to make fun of you just because you have a best friend", Jordan groaned and went to sit at another table. Joel was about to join him, when the random student shouted, "What is it, Joel? Wanna sit next to your boyfriend?" The table burst into laughter once again. Embarassed, Joel sat down in his seat, taking the scorn from his peers.
While Joel was eating his lunch, a boy across the table had finished gulfing down his chicken salad. He pushed the empty plastic container towards Joel. Joel slid the container down the table. Someone down the table slid it back towards Joel. Joel, with more force, slid the container all the way to the end of the table. Some smart-aleck reached to the end of the table, grabbed the container, and slid back to Joel once more. Joel went to slide the container off the edge of the table he was closest to, but accidentally slid it into the guy sitting next to him. The plastic container opened on the guy, spilling leftover lettuce and mayonaise contents on him. Outraged, the guy grabbed the container and BASHED it into Joel's face! Joel flew back and crashed into the table behind him; it split in two!
Joel got up and limped back to his seat. "Hey, sorry about that, Joel. Here, want a hash brown?", the kid next to him asked. It seemed that at least there was one nice soul in the entire room, so Joel went forth to receive the gift. However, the boy smashed the hash brown into Joel's face! Joel flew onto the ground as the ketchup and crust from the hashed brown covered his face! Joel got up and wiped the red liquid from his face. The entire table erupted into laughter once more!
"Grrr... you! You beast!", Joel shouted in a fit of rage and swiped at the boy! The boy ducked and punched Joel across the jaw! Joel flew back - accidentally knocking over a can of misplaced Arizona iced tea - and fell on the ground in pain! The lunchroom aid had seen this unfold and rushed to the table. "Finally... some justice", Joel muttered, weakly. The aid came to the table, looked intently at the boy with his fist clenched, then at Joel on the ground, and then at the puddle of iced tea on the table. "Who spilled this iced tea?", the aid asked. "What the --?! How did you not see --!!!", Joel started. "Hey, no yelling!", the aid commanded. She grabbed a nearby napkin and cleaned up the mess, then went on her way with Joel still on the floor. "Oh my GOSH!", Joel groaned. That was it. Joel went over to the table where Jordan was, regardless of what the fools at the other table said. Joel just wanted someplace where he wasn't mistreated. However, he went to the wrong place...
Why was going to another table going to a wrong place, you ask? Well, though his best friend was there, Joel's worst enemy was there too! Who was this enemy? It was... it was... Enemy! 0_0. Yeah, I know; frightening, ain't it? So as Joel was eating, Enemy was across the table, munching on some chips. Enemy was doing this quite disgustingly, chewing with his mouth open, as chewed chip flew everywhere. One piece of chewed chip with some saliva on it flew out of Enemy's mouth and onto Joel's shirt. Joel had had enough of such mistreatment, so he picked the chewed chip off and flicked it towards Enemy. The chip landed on Enemy's shirt, and Enemy was not aware that this chewed chip had come from him, and thought that Joel had just purposely flicked this at him for no apparent reason. This is where the brawl begins...
Enemy flicked the chip back at Joel! Joel flicked the chip back at Enemy! Enemy flicked the chip so hard that it flew off the table, onto the other side of the cafeteria. Joel went through all the trouble of going across the cafe, getting the chip, then going back to the table. As he was about to flick it once more, the lunchoom aid yelled, "Hey, you two! Get over here!" Joel & Enemy got up and walked over to the aid. "Why were you two flickin' things across the table?", she asked. "Well, he flicked it at me and then --", Joel started. "So you thought it would be funny to flick it BACK?! GO TO I.S.S.!", the aid yelled. Joel did not know what I.S.S. was since he had never gotten it before, so he asked, "What's --?" "No questions! Go!!!", the aid yelled. Joel sadly sulked away, disgusted beyond repair.
As he was walking through the hallway, a random teenager told him that "I.S.S." actually stood for "In-School Suspension" and that he had to go to the Principal's office for it. Now Joel was even more disgusting, and he reluctantly went into the office. He sat down in a chair across from the Principal, except that the back of the Principal's chair was facing him. "What are you here for?", the Principal asked in a deep, crackling voice. "Er... I'm here for I.S.S.", Joel explained. "Oh really?", the Principal asked, turning his chair around to see the student. "Well, it's scum like you that make my job --" The Principal stopped and stared intently at Joel. "W-what is it?", Joel asked. "Didn't I expell you in the last story after you blew up half the school?!", the Principal yelled. "Er... well, I --", Joel tried to explain. "RAAAHH!", the Principal yelled, pulling out a machete from under the table!
"Whoa!", Joel shouted. The Principal slashed at him! Joel ducked and fell on the floor! The Principal jumped on the table and sought forth at Joel! Joel rolled over as the machete stabbed through the floor! Joel jumped up and ran out the room! The Principal chased him in hot pursuit! Joel ran down the hall and up the stairs to his locker! He hastily pulled out his lock, then stuffed himself in the locker! He shut the door - not all the way, for he needed a way to get out later - and held his breath. He heard the footsteps of the Principal as he rampaged through the hall. "I know you're in here Joel... heh heh... and I'm gonna end you", the Principal chuckled deviously.
After a few minutes, the Principal gave up looking for Joel and returned downstairs. When the coast was clear, Joel BUSTED out of the locker, gasping for breath. He went downstairs to a vending machine, and put in a dollar to buy a can of Coke. However, the Principal was nearby and heard the clank of the can hitting the bottom of the vending machine. He looked... only to see Joel! Just then, the bell rang! Joel turned around only to see the Principal running towards him! Joel took a look at his can of Coke, then shook the can profusely! When Principal was close enough, Joel hurled the can at him! The can hit the Principal in the head and exploded in a burst of soda! The Principal flew back! Down the hall, a group of kids - the same kids who had mistreated Joel - were conversing. The Principal crashed into them! The group flew back and hit the wall! The impct was so strong it caused the wall to topple over... and then the ceiling... on top of the group! "Waaah! Aaahh! Tsuyaah!", the group screamed as the debris fell on top of them, knocking them unconscious!
Hearing the ruckus, Jordan ran up to Joel and asked, "What in the world is going on?" Joel replied, "Eh, it's just a normal day in the life of Joel Severe..." Then, he walked off into the hallway, and no one saw Joel ever again.
... Okay, maybe Joel was seen again, but... n-never mind.
Story 6: Trying Out For SportsEdit
And so it came to pass that Joel Severe and his best friend, Jordan (whose last name is unknown except for the fact that it starts with "G") were sitting at lunch, munching on some burgers, when talk of sports came on. "Hey, Joel, I'm gonna go try out for some sports", Jordan told him. "Congratulations", Joel replied, and took a bite of his beef hamburger. "Why don't you try out for some, too?", Jordan suggested. Joel spit the chewed beef out of his mouth and glanced at Jordan with a disgusted look on his face. "What?", Jordan asked. "Me? I wouldn't be caught DEAD playing sports", Joel said, grimly. "Why not? Sports are awesome!", Jordan cheered. "Now, Mr. Jordan, I don't know if you know this, but I'm not exactly the toughest or fastest guy around", Joel explained.
Joel felt an ominous tap on his shoulder. He turned around, only to see a buff teen, who had Joel's spit beef splattered on his face, with a murderous look on his face. "Gulp! Watch, I'm gonna get beat up", Joel said. The teen grabbed Joel by the collar and punched him in the face! Joel flew back and crashed into the wall! The teen grabbed Joel's head and bashed it into his knee, and smacked Joel to the floor! The poor boy lay on the floor, bleeding profusely, as the teen towered above him. The teen then kicked Joel in the shin and walked away. Joel got up, brutally beaten, and reached for his backpack - only to find that it wasn't there. He looked up and saw the teen carry Joel's backpack to a half-full garbage can and dump it in.
"Aaagh!", Joel grunted. Numerous other students went over to the garbage can where Joel's backpack was and ruthlessly dumped their lunches, milk, and syrup inside. "Ohhh...!", Joel groaned. Then, a janitor preceded to take the garbage bag and walk out the exit. "Wait, no!", Joel yelled, running after the janitor. Outside, Joel watched in horror as the trash was dumped into the dumpster and closed. To make a long prologue short, it took a lot of work to get it out and cleaned - and Joel got in trouble for throwing food at a student. Joel trudged back to his seat next to Jordan. "See what I have to go through?", Joel asked. "Whatever. Just show up at the gym later today", Jordan instructed.
So thus, after school, Joel walked into the gym and went up to Jordan. "Alright, what do you want with me?", Joel asked. "Hey, YOU!", a loud voice yelled. Joel turned around and came face-to-face with one of the coaches. "Hey, you're that Severe kid. You're trying out for basketball?", the coach asked. "Basketball?! No, I'm --", Joel tried to explain. "Great to have you here", the coach said, handing Joel a basketball. "Oh, boy...", Joel sighed. "Okay, 2-on-2 game with you, you, you. and you!", the coach instructed, pointing at Joel, Jordan, and two other boys. Joel started to dribble the ball, only to have it snatched from his hands! "What the --?!", Joel shouted in surprise. One of the other boys jumped up and tossed the ball in the net.
Half a minute later, Joel had gained control of the ball yet again. He decided to take no chances, and just jumped up and hurled the ball. The basketball bounced off the rim and hit Joel in the head! Joel flew on the floor as one of the other boys got the ball and made a slam-dunk. Joel did not get the ball for the rest of the game, and he and Jordan lost. "I can't do this anymore. I'm outta here!", Joel shouted and made a mad dash for the window. He jumped out and rolled on the ground, only to find himself on the track. "Huh?", Joel stammared. "So you're trying out for track, eh boy?", the female coach asked. "Er, well I --", Joel started. "SHUT UP AND RUN THE TRACK FOR 30 MINUTES!", she shouted. Joel got up and started running around the track,
As he ran, he caught up to another one of his friends, Ashley. "Hiya, Joel. I didn't know you did track", Ashley said. "I don't want to do track!", Joel grumbled. "Why, too slow? Heh heh", Ashley chuckled. "Oh, so you think you're so funny now?", Joel asked, angrily. "I'm sorry, J. It's just that --", Ashley started. " -- I'm not exactly the fastest guy around", Joel finished. "Took the words right out of my mouth", Ashley muttered. "Ugh. I just need to get out of here", Joel muttered. "You could hop the fence", Ashley suggested. Joel glanced at the 10-foot-tall fence. "Eh, it's worth it", Joel muttered and climbed up the fence. "HEY! GET DOWN!", the female coach shouted. "Not on your life, ugly!", Joel yelled back. The female coach pulled out a handgun and shot at Joel! Joel fell off the other side of the fence, narrowly dodging the bullets, and rolled down the large hill...
Joel awoke with a busted lip and a ripped shirt. "Ugh...", he groaned. A large man walked up to him. "Hey there, kid. You just walked up to 12th grade Varsity football!", the coach greeted. "W-what?!", Joel shouted. "Yeah, bet you're here to join up, aren't 'cha?", the coach asked. "No, you don't under--- ", Joel started. "Well, since my job contract said not to discriminate children because of age, I guess you can join", the coach allowed. "BUT I --", Joel tried to explain. "We're practicing tackling", the coach said, helping Joel up and handing him a football. "Sic 'im, boys!", the coach shouted. Joel looked to the side only to see a cluster of 12th grade boys decked out in football uniforms rushing forth at him! Joel stood there in fear, until he finally made a mad dash! Joel sprinted across the field with the team in hot pursuit! (As a normal teen would say, "Dang, that kid was out, yo! He was like, BOOM! Cleared it on y'all!" But since teens are psychotic idiots who will destroy the world with their mass stupidity, then we shall not talk like them, but talk like civilized people.)
Joel hopped over the fence in one leap and ran out the school perimeters, football still in hand, as the team chased him! The boy came to a busy street with a bunch of cars zooming at incredible speeds. However, Joel showed no signs of stopping and ran into the street! He hastily dodging an oncoming car! He then jumped onto a roof of a car and jumped off! He soared across the street and landed on the cemented sidewalk! He twisted his leg, but got up and continued running. "They're gonna kill me!", Joel screamed. "Just let go of the darned football!", some random guy yelled. Joel turned around and quickly threw the football. It crashed into the window of some car in the street and caused it to swirl uncontrollably! The team followed the crazy car, until it crashed into another car! The two burst into flames, and engulfed the team in flames! Soon, the entire street was up in flames!
The next morning, Joel entered the boys' locker room for first period Gym. He went to open his locker, and noticed that Jordan wasn't at his locker next to him, like he normally was. Joel turned around and saw Jordan at the other side of the room, opening another locker. "Jordan, why are you over there?", Joel asked. "I got a Varsity locker, baby!", Jordan cheered, opening his roomier and bigger locker. "You got a Varsity locker, too?", Ashley asked, entering the room, "Up top!" She and Jordan shared a high-five. "What about me? Do you know what I had to go through yesterday?!", Joel shouted, angrily. "Yeah... but you don't have a --", Ashley started. " -- VARSITY LOCKER!", she and Jordan cheered. Joel twitched his eye and grimaced. He reluctantly went to his ordinary locker and tried to forget the whole ordeal.
Story 7: Brawl Between FriendsEdit
- Guest starring: Random Kid
'Twas just a regular school day in the life of Joel Severe. It was also a regular school day in the life of Random Kid. Now, these two seldom had classes together. Why, the only classes they had together were 1st period, lunch, and the dreaded last class of the day... Spanish! O_O I suppose you are wondering, "What could be so bad about Spanish class?" Well, if only you knew... Oh, wait a second, you CAN know! Quick, let me tell you the story. The story about men... who turn into monsters... *cackles maniacally* Huh? *clears throat* Mmm, sorry 'bout that.
Anyway, as I said before, it was a normal day in the life of Joel and Random. See, Joel was in the class he had before lunch - which shall remain unnamed - and was drawing some pictures of a superhero team he had made months ago. What was this team named, you ask? Well, it was previously named, "Super League of Cartoon Kids" or "S.L.O.C.K." if you will. Now, Joel thought that "Cartoon Kids" would be inappropiate for this team, which he had decided he'd take a more realistic route with. So he renamed them "Courageous Kids", which ironically still kept the acronym "S.L.O.C.K."
Now, in whatever class Random Kid was in, he was doing something similar. He was writing a story with a team of tweens also named "S.L.O.C.K.", also with the name "Super League of Courageous Kids." Now, you may think that this guy copied off the other guy. Well, no I'm afraid not. See, the two had no idea that the other had a similar named team, and the two wouldn't clash until next period's lunch. Got that? Okay, good. Let's go on.
So it came to pass that lunch came, and both boys were eager to show each other their new inventions. The two sat across the lunch table from each other. "Hey Joel, I've got this cool team of heroes I'd like to show you", Random said. "Hey, so do I!", Joel replied. Both he and Random took out their respective drawing/story and handed it to the other. Within seconds, both of them shouted, "What the --?!" "You copied off of me with S.L.O.C.K.!", Joel shouted. "What chu' talkin' about?! You obviously stole 'Courageous Kids' from me!", Random argued. "Ha! Please! I'm smart enough so that I don't have to steal ideas from other kids!", Joel retorted. "What are you TALKING about! I had 'Super League of Courageous Kids' before you, ya herb!", Random yelled. "Now, shut up 'fore I punch you!", Joel threatened. "Ha! You couldn't hurt a fly!", Random taunted. Joel punched Random in the face! Random flew back, wiped the blood off his lip, and charged at Joel!
Random punched at Joel! Joel ducked and swung at him! Random jumped back and kicked Joel in the stomach! Joel stumbled backwards. Random charged at him with a clenched fist! Joel rolled out of the way as Random's fist hit the wall! "Raaaah!", he wailed. Joel swung ferociously at Random! Random grabbed Joel's arm and twisted it, then tripped him on the ground! Joel got up, writhing in pain. Random swung at him! Joel ducked, then grabbed a plastic knife and threw it at Random! The knife cut Random! "Ugh!", Random muttered. Joel slapped Random! Random flew back and hit a table! Joel raised his foot to Random! Random did so also! The feet collided, twisting both Joel and Random's feet! "Waah!", they both shrieked.
Joel grabbed Random by the neck and strangled him! Random smacked Joel, then punched him! Joel flew back and hit a window! Random raced towards him, foaming from the mouth! Joel jumped out of the way as Random crashed through the glass window and fell outside! Joel followed him, and punched him repeatedly on the ground! Random grabbed Joel's arm, then kicked him off! Random got up and sprinted away! Joel gave chase to him! Joel tackled Random to the ground and they rolled onto the football field! Random grabbed Joel's collar and PUNCHED him in the face! Joel flew back and landed on the grass! Random got up and sauntered forth at him... ready to end him...
As Random prepared to deliver the finishing blow, a hand grabbed him from behind! "Son of a --!", he started. Suddenly, Random was kicked to the ground! He turned around, only to see a police officer! "I'm taking the both of yous in!", he said in a gruff said. Numerous police officers rushed over, put Joel and Random in handcuffs, and marched them back into the school. The two boys were sent to the Principal's office. "Ah, so I hear you kids were tryin' to kill each other, eh?", the Principal asked. "I wasn't trying to kill him... I was trying to MANGLE him! I wanted to rip apart his flesh and eat it for dinner! I wanted to have the boy's blood in my hands!...", Random growled, his eyes bloodshot red! "Why'd you wanna do that? You're the one who stole my idea!", Joel retorted. "Oh, SHUT UP!", Random shrieked.
"You shut up!", Joel replied. "No, you shut up!", Random replied. "That's it, you idiot!", Joel shouted, trying to claw at Random, but the officer held him back. "Aw, does the widdle baby need his mommy to beat up an adversary...?", Random insulted. "YOU'RE gonna need yo mama to mop your blood after I'm done with YOU!", Joel threatened. "Well, you know where your mama is? In my --!", Random started. "Both of you, shut up before I make you be quiet for eternity!", the Principal threatened. The two boys became quiet.
"This situation is just too tiring for me to handle. Just... just go!", the Principal groaned. Joel & Random left the room and went their separate ways. However, there's still more to be told. I didn't tell you what was so gruesome that happened in Spanish class. But as you can see, this short story has gotten too long already. So I guess this is --
- To be continued!
Story 7.5: A Brawl Between Friends... Continued!Edit
- Also Guest Starring: Random Kid
Oh, so I see you've returned for more, eh boahy? Well, okay. Just to remind you, what's going on so far is that Joel Severe and Random Kid are arguing over the rights to an acronym for a team of heroes, and in the midst of their brawl, are apprehended by the police and sent to the Principal's office, but are sent off scot-free. Whew, that's a mouthful. Anyways, now that that's over, let's continue with the story, shall we?
So it came to pass that after a class or two, Joel & Random were reunited in Spanish, sitting right next to each other. And even though the hatred had toned down a bit, it could fire back up if "S.L.O.C.K." was mentioned again. Whilst the class was talking and whatnot, annoying the teacher, Random decided to converse with Joel. "Hey Joel, did you come up with a new name for 'S.L.O.C.K.' yet?", Random asked. "Why should I? I came up with it first", Joel replied. "Uh... heh heh, no you didn't. I did", Random corrected. "No, you may think that you did, but you didn't", Joel retorted. "How are you gonna tell me what I created?!", Random asked, angrily. "I can't", Joel replied. "Exactly!", Random said. "... cause you didn't create it!", Joel explained.
"Yes I did!", Random yelled. "No, you didn't! I did, you triple fat goose!", Joel insulted. "I'm fat? Have you looked at yo mama lately? No! Cuz she's too dang ugly!", Random insulted. "My mom? Well you're mama's so fat when she went to see the movie 'Fat Albert', she said, 'Hiya, bro!'", Joel insulted. "Puh-leeze. Your hairline's like your mother - ugly and messed up!", Random insulted. "Shut up! You don't have to use your life stories a joke!", Joel insulted. "Boom! The movie 'Precious' was yo mama's life story!", Random insulted fiercely. Joel smacked Random! Random swung at Joel! Joel ducked and punched at Random! Random grabbed Joel's arm and prepared to snuff him in the face!
"Hey, you two!", the teacher shouted, "No physical violence!" "Can we have emotional violence then?", Random asked. "All I have to do you give you emotional violence is take your food!", Joel insulted. Random swung at Joel! Joel ducked and rolled on the ground! He ran to the teacher!
"The boy stole MY team name and now he's acting like this!", Joel tried to explain. Random grabbed a desk and hurled it at Joel! Joel moved out of the way as the desk crashed through the wall! "I-I just don't know what to do. The kid needs help!", Joel said. Random punched Joel in the face! Joel flew back and crashed into a SmartBoard, which burst into flames! "Ugh...", Joel groaned, burns covering his body, "NOW it's personal!" Joel grabbed Random's head and BASHED it into his knee! Random flew back and crashed into a desk which split in two! Joel sauntered forth at him! Random jumped up and kicked Joel in the face! Joel flew back and hit a table, where he grabbed a pile of textbooks and hurled them at Random! Random ducked as a textbook flew over him and crashed through a window! Random stood up straight, only to get hit in the face with a textbook!
Joel ran up to Random and punched him repeatedly! Random hit the floor, bleeding profusely! Joel went to deliver the finishing blow! Random reached for a mechanical pencil and held it like a handgun! He then shot pencil lead at Joel, which hit him in the eye! "Waaagh!", Joel screamed! Random got up and punched Joel repeatedly until he flew back and crashed through the window! Random jumped after him!
Joel fell two stories to the concrete ground! "Ugh...", Joel groaned in pain. Soon, Random came tumbling down and hit the ground next to Joel! "Yaaaagh!", he moaned in pain. The two faced each other, and tried to fight, but they were in too much pain to do so. "Why...? Why... have we done this?", Joel asked. "Because you stole my darn team name is why!", Random yelled. "So? Actually no I DIDN'T, but is that anything to kill ourselves over?", Joel asked. "Uh... well...", Random studdered. "I mean, it IS just a name", Joel replied. "Yeah, and just a name isn't enough to break apart as cool a friendship as ours", Random added. "No. No, it's -- AAAAUGH!", Joel shouted out of nowhere! "What is it?", Random asked. "My heart... just stopped", Joel said in a raspy voice. "Oh no. Well just hold on buddy, I'm sure someone -- OH!!!", Random shrieked. "What is it?", Joel asked. "My heart stopped too", Random answered. "We're both gonna die", Joel said in an annoyed tone.
"Now, Joel, you have to be optimistic and -- Joel, your eyes are closing! Joel. don't die!", Random yelled. "See ya... on the other side", were Joel's last words before his eyes closed forever. Random shed a tear. "It was nice knowin' ya... buddy...", Random said, before his eyes closed. And by the time the police and the ambulance had come and found them, Joel Severe and Random Kid were already dead. O_O
So there we go. A mere dispute caused the two opponents to die. However, before they met their ends, they realized what was really important in life: friendship. And before you start thinking about how messed up this story is, I'll finish it off with a "THE END!"
Story 8: Dance DudEdit
"The Dance?!", Joel shouted in surprise. He was looking at a poster on the bulletin board in the hallway, signaling that the Junior High Dance was in just a few days! "Yeesh, why doesn't anyone tell me about these things?", Joel groaned. "The Dance?!", Jordan shouted, running next to Joel, "You didn't know about the Dance?!" "Did you?", Joel asked. "No, I didn't", Jordan replied, "But at least I have enough time to get a date and pretend like I knew about it this whole time. How about you?" "Well, Jordan, you may not know this but I'm not the kind of guy who gets involved in this teen trash", Joel explained. "Joel, this isn't 'teen trash', this is what's going on in people's lives around you. In today's standard, if you don't have a date to the Junior High Dance, then you don't have a life!", Jordan complained. "I have a life, and I shouldn't need to have a hot date to prove it", Joel retorted. "Tell that to the surplus of teenagers who think otherwise. Anyway, I don't know about you, but I'm gettin' hitched with a hot chick for the dance. Peace!", Jordan said, rushing to the side of some random girl who looked at him, disgustedly.
"Poor, naive Jordan. He fails to comprehend...", Joel muttered. Then he submerged himself in deep thought: "Maybe Jordan's nonsensical rant has somewhat of a truth to it. What people think of me is of importance, and I don't people to think of me of as some lame, lonely, and dorky boy who can't get a date to the Junior High Dance. Then again, I'm not in the mood for a relationship right now. So what seems to be the only solution is to get a pretend girlfriend and use her as a date for the Dance, then abandon her and fade back into obscurity until the next major event. Yes, that could work!"
The only question remaining is who would be the poor sap who'd be so foolish as to be saddled with Joel for the Dance? "Hey, Joel!", called a female voice. Joel turned around. It was his good friend, Ashley. "Ashley! Am I glad to see you!", Joel shouted, rushing over to his acquaintance. "'Sup. How's it going?", Ashley asked. "Ash, you'd say we're best friends, right?", Joel asked. "Yeah, sure", Ashley replied. "And best friends do things for each other, right? Even if they're completely stupid and can possibly bring both friends' reputation to the brink of destruction?", Joel asked. "Where are you going with this?", Ashley counterasked, worried. "Just answer the question, goyl!", Joel yelled. "Fine, yes, whatever", Ashley replied, annoyed. "Grand. Now, listen closely. I need you to temporarily pose as my girlfriend for the Junior High Dance", Joel explained. There was a long silence.
"WHAT?!!!", Ashley shouted at the top of her lungs. "J-just calm down, Ashley. There's no need to be so hyper", Joel cautioned. "There IS reason to be hyper. You want me to pretend I'm your date to the Junior High Dance, because no girl wants you?", Ashley tried to take in. "It's not no girls want me, it's just that I don't have time to find the ones who want me, since the Dance is in just a few days. And to save my reputation, I'd need a relatively close ally - such as you - to pose as such a person, to save my reputation, and to show the extent of our friendship", Joel explained. "So you're using me?", Ashley asked. "No! Just think of this as you saving me from being a social outcast", Joel added. "Okay... but what's in it for me?", Ashley asked. "You get a free date to the Dance! Well, pretend anyway", Joel said. "Hmm... okay... but if this goes downhill, all blame goes on you", Ashley said. "Deal!", Joel agreed. They shook on it.
"Hey, Ash!", some buff kid shouted, edging towards her, "How about I save you from this nerd's torture, and get to be my boo-boo for the Junior High Dance?" "No way, Jose! She's MY date! Find someone who suits you, and judging by your obesity, that'd be a double cheeseburger!", Joel insulted. "Oh! So Ashley, you got the lame-o to be your boyfriend, eh? That's a low, even for you! And here I was, thinking I'd maybe make you my date. Oh well, have fun waltzing. Ha ha ha!", the buff kid laughed, walking away with his gang. "Oh, boy...", Ashley groaned. "Yeah, see how I defended our relationship? I'm a pro at this stuff. I got this dating thing down!", Joel cheered. "Oh, I just hope this doesn't get out...", Ashley grunted.
The Next Day...
Gossip was going around the school about Ashley & Joel's relationship. Why, Ashley was walking around with some of her girl friends, when one asking, "So Ashley, you kiss your new mate, yet?" "What d'you mean?", Ashley asked. "Don't act stupid. Your boyfriend, silly!", the girl reminded. "Wh-what do you mean?", Ashley asked, shifting her eyes to the sides. "Ho boy. YOUR BOYFRIEND, JOEL SEVERE!" "Aaah!", Ashley screamed in embarassment.
Meanwhile, Joel seemed to be getting more of an enjoyment out of this fiasco. "Yeah, Ashley's obviously nuts about me. I mean, just look at me, I'm mad hot, son", Joel said, proudly. The other boys gaped in astonishment. "H-how do you do it, Joel?", a boy asked. "Simple, man. I just show up in front a bunch of girls and they go ga-ga over me. And I say, 'Ladies, there's enough Joel to go around', alright? Why, I remember how I met Ashley. It was at the 6th grade Dance, and I was being tossed about in the crowd, when I brushed up against her --", Joel lied. "JOEL! GET OVER HERE!", Ashley shouted, angrily. "Sorry, I'll have to go now, guys. You know how women are", Joel chuckled. Ashley grabbed Joel by the neck and dragged him into the hallway.
"Hey there, Ashley! This whole relationship is working out well for me. Now I know why teens do it so much", Joel pointed out. "I don't care! Listen, this is ruining my life! Everyone's laughing about how I , quote unquote, love you!", Ashley complained. "Told you one of our lives would be brought to the brink of destruction. It was in the contract", Joel replied. "Are you sure there's no OTHER girl you can pretend date?", Ashley asked. "Well, there was this one girl I liked; her name was Unknown Girl. I saved her from this evil alien king and stuff, and for a second, I thought I had found The One", Joel explained. "What happened?", Ashley asked. "Well, you know how those relationships are. She loved me for what I did, not for me, yadda yadda ya. Anyway, Ash, the Dance is just in two days. Surely, you can manage until then?", Joel hoped. "I guess so", Ashley groaned. "Great! See you then, 'girlfriend'!", Joel said, running back to his group of astonished boys.
Two Days Later...
Ashley's reputation was brought to the brink of extinction, whereas Joel's reputation rocketed up so high that even God Himself wouldn't be able to reach it. And so, came the night of the Dance, in which everything worked for up until this moment would end. Ashley was overjoyed, while Joel was disgusted. So, as the Dance night went by, Joel and Ashley were separated, with their own group of friends, avoiding any dancing and such as much as possible...
... that is, until the slow dance! Some guy who looked like he could be Random Kid's father shouted on the microphone, "Alright, guys and gals! Grab your girlfriends and ya boyfriends, and get ready for a really slow love dance..." "Go on, Joel, and dance with your girl!", the boys coaxed. "Huh? Who me? Are you talking to me?", Joel asked, sweating nervously. He had no problem boasting about it, but he couldn't live up to his words. "Go on, Ashley! Go dance with cho' man!", the girls coaxed. "What? N-now, I'm not much of a dancer. Really! I suck. Just ask old Jimmy. I danced with him at the -- Wait, no!", Ashley pleaded. The two were pushed together by their respective groups and were being watched by everyone in the auditorium.
"Go, Joel & Ashley!", Jordan shouted in the distance. Joel and Ashley stared at each other. "Heya... Ashley...", Joel whispered. "Joel, I don't think I can carry this on for much longer", Ashley replied. "You have to, Ashley! My reputation's hanging on the line!", Joel groaned. "Yeah, your reputation. You only care about yourself!", Ashley muttered. Joel was speechless. "I have to do it...", she admitted. Ashley then said out loud, "Guys, this relationship is ---!" CRASH!!!!!!
What the ---?! A car came crashing in through the window! Joel and Ashley ducked out of the way as the car rolled into the ground, knocking away and squashing various people until it finally stopped when colliding into the wall! There were numerous murmurs coming from the crowd. Eventually, the car door opened and out stepped... Unknown Girl?! "What the --?!", Joel shouted in surprise. Unknown Girl marched over to Joel and punched him to the ground, repeatedly! "Ugh... what's wrong with you?...", Joel groaned, wiping the blood from his face. "This is how you repay me after breaking up with me, you buttcheek?!", Unknown Girl shouted. She then unsheathed a machete and pointed at Joel! "I'm gonna END you...", she muttered in a deep, crackling voice.
Just then, a pair of police officers busted into the room and apprehended Unknown Girl! "Stop right there! You're under arrest!", the officer shouted. "No... heh heh! I must get revenge on Joel Severe!", Unknown Girl yelled, foaming from the mouth. The officers started to drag her out the door. "I'm gonna KILL you, one day, Joel Severe! I'm going to KILL you, and rip you limb from limb! Mwah ha ha! Bwah ha ha! I'm gonna KILL ALL OF YOU!!!", she shouted as she faded off into the distance... O.o ... That was unexpected.
"Well, I'd like to take this moment to say that I must break up with you, Joel Severe", Ashley said outloud. "What? But, why?", Joel asked, playing along. "That chick there is a psychotic maniac. What if she tries to come after me because I'm your girl? I can't handle that. Ashley Girl is out, PEACE!", Ashley said, running out of the building. "Uh... yeah, I'm sad about it, too. Oh, sob. Oh, cry. I gotta get out of here 'fore I get a nervous breakdown", Joel said, sarcastically, running out of the building also.
Outside, Joel and Ashley were laughing, uncontrollably. "Ah ha ha! Oh, that was a good one, Ashley!", Joel chuckled. "Yeah! That couldn't have happened at a better time! Ooh, hoo hoo!", Ashley giggled. "Ah, boy. It's going to be hard going back to school on Monday, but at least we got through this", Joel said, relieved. "Yeah, well, we can't afford to go back in there now. Guess we'd best go home", Ashley suggested. As the two friends walked off in the moonlight, Joel asked, "Hey Ashley, you ever think I'll find The One?", Joel asked. "No, you're too dang ugly", Ashley replied. And the two laughed...
THE... What, did you expect "END"? Well, kid, you better think twice. This story's gonna end with a mere "THE." Okay? You may be a bit upset at this, but hey, it's you who's setting your expectations too high.