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An abnormal morning for me is... well... not normal one of course.
Encountering the FatherEdit
My alarm clock rang. As I got up to brush my teeth, I caught sight of my dad getting up as well. Unbeknownst that this would cause problems in the short future, I simply walked into the bathroom. Now, I admit I do take long brushing my teeth but there's no reason you should have this kind of reaction. I brushed my teeth, my father knocked on the door, signaling for me to hurry up.
I just kept going, what else can I say I wasn't done yet. Suddenly, my Dad busts in the door yelling! "Random! Stop being lazy and go get dressed!" "Bub-t db-I", I started with the toothbrush still in my mouth. Before I could finish, my Dad swung at me! I ducked and tried to escape! He slapped at me, I grabbed a bottle of lotion and blocked his hand with it! The lotion bottle bursted open as lotion squirted everywhere! But, Dad wasn't done disciplining me yet! He tried to kick me, I attempted to dash out of the bathroom! But I slipped on the scattered lotion, and smashed into the door! The door swung back, hitting my father in the back of his head! My Dad flew into the sink, and grabbed a whole bunch of marbles to smack me over the head with!!
I escaped from the bathroom, but slipped down the steps as my Dad fell over the lotion and the marbles shot out of his hand! Marbles pursued me as I slid down the slim railing on the steps hanging on for dear life!!! My father followed me down the steps still slipping and sliding! "I'm tired of you always backtalkin' me!", my Dad yelled as he punched at me! I jumped off the railing at the last minute as my father's fist smashed through it! I landed and rolled on the ground in pain! "That'll teach ya!", my Dad said and stormed up the steps into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. But had he any idea what beast he'd just unleashed?!
Encountering the MotherEdit
My mother BUSTED out of Mom and Dad's bedroom! "WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU????!!!!", she screamed at the top of her lungs! "I'm tryin' to sleep on my day off !!!!". She looked around and the first thing she saw was me limping up the steps. She LAUNCHED the remote at me! I hastily ducked and the remote smashed through the mirror behind me! She dashed down the steps after me, but due to Dad's lotioned feet, the steps were slippery. She slipped down the steps and flew into the broken mirror! Just in time I jumped off of the steps. "Mom please, let me explain I--", I started. But she began hurling broken pieces of glass at me! I ran into the kitchen and reached for a pot top! She followed me into the kitchen and continued to pelt glass at me! I used the pot cover as a sheild!
She grabbed the pot cover and pushed me into the counter! Everything went black...
Getting Ready for SchoolEdit
I awoke to find myself back in bed. Was it all a dream? Just when I thought fiction had become reality, my father appeared over me and yelled "What the heck are you doin' still in bed!? It's 8:00 get up!" Thus, I discovered it wasn't a dream after all... After getting ready I proceeded to leaving the house to walk to school.
As I was walking I encountered one of my friends Trent. I walked and talked with the guy until he made an incredibly foolish idea. "Say Random, you dare me to throw a stick at that dog over there", he said pointing across the street to an ominous house. "Are you crazy boahy!? I-", in the middle of me scolding him I tripped over my untied shoelace. As I was tying said lace Trent decided he would throw the stick over to the house. He picked up a giant branch and launched over like a harp! It hit straight into the dog in the backyard! Trent then dashed off the scene. Me, unknown of what he just did, kept tying my shoe. Suddenly, the dog let out a blood curdling bark! I looked up only to see Bully (Bully being the guy who terrorizes me on a daily basis but eventually stopped due to me reporting him), bust out of the front door!
He looked around and caught site of me tying my shoe! Bully dashed toward me yelling "I'm gonna kill you runt!". Just then, I finished tying my shoe and made a mad dash for the school building! Luckily, I outran Bully, leaving him to "eat my dust", as a normal tween would say these days. I dashed into the school building, 3 seconds later Bully busted in looking fo me! He didn't see me at first, so I quickly ran into the bathroom to escape his wrath! I locked the door.
All I can say is... I should've brought a bat and a parachute with me.
Brawl in the Bathroom!?Edit
After hiding out looking through the door window and not turning around, I realized Bully had seen me go into the bathroom. He looked over and gave a smirk. I sat there for a mintue wondering why he gave such a smirk. Nevertheless, I turned around and let out a relieved sigh. But, something was wrong. I looked around, only to see gossip on the mirror's and pink paint everywhere. That's when I realized it... I wasn't in any regular bathroom... I was in the girls bathroom!! I turned around and hastily tried to unlock the door, but the handle fell off !! Just then, a girl finished washing her hands and turned around, only to see some boy spying! "AAAHH!", she yelled in a girly voice! O_O! Suddenly, girls began rushing out of multiple stalls! "What the--?! What are you doing in here Random Kid!!!??", a girl asked me punching her fist!
She swung at me! I ducked and attempted to run the other way! But angered females are pretty tough! She grabbed the back of my collar and hurled me at another girl! She punched me to the ground as all of them began kicking me while I was down! One of them picked me up and punched me back down! I rolled and crawled into a stall! "Please let me explain I--", a girl busted in and punched me in the face! I flew backward and bounced off of the stall door! She threw me out of the stall as multiple females pushed me into the window! Some girl tried to punch me full force but I ducked as her fist smashed through the window! I ran toward the door and tried to call for help!
Out of nowhere, multiple combs and brushes were hurled at me! These broke the door window! Just my luck! The Principal was just walking by when I let out a loud yell for help! He busted into the door! "What's going on in here!?", he yelled at hte top of his lungs! All he saw was me stairing right in front of him as all the girls pointed to me and said, "There's a boy in the girls bathroom!". Well, the Principal grabbed me and dragged me to his office.
A Short Talk with the PrincipalEdit
The Principal pushed me into his office. I sat down and got ready for the ridicule and yelling to start. I heard nothing. I looked up and saw Principal with a smirk on his face and his head turned to the side. "Principal, you okay?", I asked confused. "Did you know that you were the first boy to sneak into the girls bathroom and live?", Principal said.
"Oh no, Principal. You've got it all wrong I--", I started, but realized if I had finished that sentence I'd be digging my own grave. "Uh, thanks", I said hesitantly. "No, not just thanks! You could be the next Greg Heffley, the Stealthinator!", Principal excitedly said. "Uh, okay. Thanks anyway", I said. "Well, classes will start in a few minutes. So I'll congradulate you at another time.", Principal said.
I walked out of the office. I couldn't believe it. Not that I just found out that my school Principal is perverted, but that I actually made it in and out of both the girls bathroom and the Principal's office without dying or being physically, emotionally, mentally, or verbally harmed. I thought today was going to be a good day after all... boy was I wrong.
As I said in the last story, (A Normal Day In The Life of a Random Kid), nothing but knowledge is spread about in homeroom. But lunch, now that's where all the action is.
Soon, after filling my brain with the utmost intellegence, my class traveled to lunch. The afternoon meal you could say. Anyways, my school served disgusting lunches! Stale hamburgers, spoiled milk, raw potatoes, and just about anything else to make you throw up. So when I was on line for lunch, I noticed J. Severe wasn't there for me to conversate with him. I looked around and spotted J. Severe at the lunch table with a bucket-a-Fried Chicken! From KFC that is.
But before I could take action, and travel to ask J. Severe for some Fried Chicken, I was interrupted by Wilson Raul. A fat fool! It feels like everywhere I go, that fool is there. "Hiya Random!", Wilson said in his normally goofy voice. I just ignored the guy. I tried my best to keep from throwing a punch at him, but the fool wouldn't stop his talking. I looked to the side and saw his crooked gapped teeth in my face, spitting all about while talking, I lost all control! I threw a solid punch at the guy's nose!
But, he stood up and my fist hit his stomach! Now Wilson wasn't just another chubby boy, he was fat. And when I say fat, I mean FAT, F-A-T, Mucho or whatever. My fist ricoched of off of his fat and smashed a girl next to me! Now this girl next to me happened to be the girl of my dreams. Not that I would tell you the name, that would expose alot of secrets deep inside! Anyways, Girl fell to the ground in pain. "Ow!", she cried. I tried to right my wrong by helping her up, but she jumped up and kicked me in the stomach! "Oof!", I yelled. She then grabbed my collar and flipped me across one of the lunch tables.
I rolled off of the table and hit the ground. "Don't you ever hit me again you son of a-", in the middle of Girl's sentence a Lunch Aid came. "What's going on here?", she asked. Unfortunately, this Lunch Aid hated me. Infact, half the teachers in school hate me. "He punched me in my eye!", Girl complained. "HE WHAT!?", Lunch Aid yelled. While Girl squealed to Lunch Aid, I grabbed a lunch tray from some random student, and made a hasty yet sly escape! Lunch Aid turned around to get at me, but I was no where to be found. I had escaped.
And thus, I sat in my usual seat next to J. Severe, who I, in all the excitement, forgot had a nice bucket-a-Fried Chicken. Wilson, of course, also came and sat next to me. I sat and gave my lunch a disgusted look, and with that looked to the side and saw heaven. J. Severe's bucket-a-Fried Chicken. But once again, before I could ask for a piece, I came up with a devious plan. Wilson was the fattest guy I've ever met, so just imagine his reaction when you're sitting across a lunch table from him and you try to bribe him with Fried Chicken.
I told J. Severe my devious plan. And so, we tried it. Well, Wilson literally jumped ACROSS the lunch table for that Fried Chicken! He slid across on his fat stomach and hit the otherside of the ground with a THUD! BOOM! SMASH! Just then, an earthquake was caused somewhere around the world. Fortunately, the Principal was in the lunch room as well, and witnessed Wilson's attempt at a piece of Fried Chicken. He went over and began to interrogate Wilson! "Why were you across that table, boahy!?", Principal yelled. He actually asked many questions. But
Vilson Wilson had just one reply. "Never tempt me with a piece of Fried Chicken, why I'd sell my own TV and computer for a piece of that beauty!" I let out a small giggle, I thought Wilson was really gonna get it now. But Principal did something extrememly unexpected. He said, "True Dat, homie!" With that, he gave Wilson a high five and went on his merry way.
J. Severe's Fried ChickenEdit
After that strange conclusion, I proceeded to ask J. Severe for a piece of the Fried Chicken.