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Race Against TimeEdit
Roger, Patrick, and Sheila hastily dashed through the hallway desperately trying to get to class! The only thing standing in their way was the fattest kid in school, Marcus! Roger jumped over the boy and landed on the floor! Patrick slid underneath him, and skid past Roger! Sheila crashed into Marcus and they fell on the floor! Marcus slid on the school's shiny floor, while Sheila stood on him for the ride! Roger and Pat quickly followed. Class was to start in a few seconds! The fate of the world hung in the balance! Sheila jumped off the boy with Roger and Pat following after. The second Sheila opened the door, the clock turned to 9:01. "YOU'RE LATE!", the teacher yelled, foaming from the mouth. "But it's only one min --", Roger started. "SHUT CHO MOUTH, BOAHY! SIT DOWN BEFORE I SMACK YOU UPSIDE YA HEAD!", the teacher yelled. The three kids sat, knowing they had been bested by Father Time.
Movie music sounds. Opening credits roll.
Now Roger, Patrick, and Sheila were best friends. They had been together since pre-k, and even in junior high, their friendship was still going strong. The 3 lived in a small town called Schoolyard. In this town, there was no law saying that teachers could not hit students, unlike everywhere else in the country. So when a child screwed up, the teacher was allowed to punch him, kick him, or just totally ruin his self-esteem. Some kids were angry at this, and fought back at the teachers. Many students now wish they could do that. Well... that's what this story's about.
Roger & the Teacher Battle It Out!Edit
"Now class, because of these fools, you all have detention for the rest of the month!", the teacher yelled. "But it's the first day of the month", Sheila said. "That's the point!", the teacher yelled. The class groaned. "Now sit down before I smack you with the iron ruler!", the teacher yelled. The three kids sat. "Now! What is 12,086 times 3, 468?!", the teacher asked. "You! Bald kid!", the teacher called. "Um... it is -", the bald kid started. "Shut up! You're too slow! Saturday detention!", the teacher yelled. "But I --" "Sunday detention!" "But I have --" "Wanna get Monday detention?!" "I already have --" "Go to the Principal's office!" "But.." The teacher pulled out a butcher knife and aimed it at the bald kid. "Go now, mmm-boahy!", the teacher commanded. The kid ran out the window. "Oh no you don't!", the teacher screamed and jumped out the window after the boy. "No! Noo! Nooo! Naaaahhh! Ugh! Uuggghhh...", were the boy's last words.
"This teacher is a homicidal maniac!", Roger said. "Yeah, she ought to get fired", Pat said. "What'd you say, Pat-tay!", the teacher asked. "What --?! I, uh --", Pat stammared. "Answer my math question or else you'll end up like that bald kid's corpse outside!", the teacher threatened. "C-c-corpse?! Um, uh... 41,914,248?", Pat answered, unsuredly. "Wrong! You will di --!" "Um, actually, that's correct. I checked it on my calculator", Roger pointed out. "Are you questionin' my intelligence, mm-boahy?!", the teacher yelled. "Well, I'm just saying --" "That's the last thing you will ever say!!", the teacher yelled, and she pulled out a chainsaw! "Whoa!", Roger yelled.
The teacher lunged at Roger! Roger jumped off the desk as the teacher crashed into the desk and rolled! The teacher got up and scanned the classroom for Roger. Suddenly, Roger jumped the teacher and PINNED her to the ground! He punched her repeatedly until she slashed him with the chainsaw! The chainsaw cut off half of Roger's shirt! The teacher let out a war cry and lunged at Roger once again! Roger dodged and the teacher crashed into the chalkboard! The teacher broke through the wall and landed in a History class as sawdust filled the air! The teacher pulled two handguns out of her pockets and shot at Roger! Roger flipped through the air, hastily dodging the bullets! Roger grabbed a few textbooks and hurled them at the teacher! The textbooks hit the teacher full force and she crashed through the window!
Roger followed the teacher out the window and attacked her as she fell through mid-air! Roger kicked her in the stomach! The teacher grabbed his leg and spun him around like a fan! She let go and Roger crashed into another part of the school! Roger knocked into a bucket of gas, which tipped into a fire! Roger jumped out the window as the school exploded in a blast of fire! Roger landed on the grass, rolled, and jumped into the air! Now he was face-to-face with the teacher yet again, and he took a punch at her! The teacher extended her leg as if to kick Roger, but then she landed on the ground and broke her leg. The ambulance, police, and fire trucks came to the scene!
The Rest of the First ClassEdit
"What the heck is going on?!", the police screamed. "Me and the Teacher were locked in a battle to the death", Roger said. "This boy ought to be banned from school, period!", the teacher commanded. "What? You're the one who threw a student out the window then ripped off his flesh!", Roger argued. Just then, the principal rushed onto the scene. "What in blazes happened here?", he asked. "These two were tried to maul each other", the police said. "What?! Now I assure this is not what happens everyday at Schoolyard Middle School", the principal said. "What do you mean? We kids are praying for the day we can shove knives down the teachers' --", Roger said, before the principal covered his mouth. "Roger, why don't you run along to class while we smart adults take care of this", the principal said. "But I'm smart too", Roger protested. "SHUT UP!", the principal said, "I mean... just get out of here before I erupt in a violent explosion." So thus Roger hurried to his class.
When he got there, a substitute teacher had already arrived. "Class, due to your teacher going on a murderous rampage, I will be substituting for the day", the replacement said. Then she went to hand out tests that had been taken the previous day. "Ooh, what was my grade?", Pat asked. "One", the teacher said. "Yes! Only one wrong!", Pat cheered. "No, I mean you got a 1%", the teacher pointed out. "What?! You beast! How could you?!", Pat yelled in a fit of rage. "Hey, I'm just the repla--", the teacher started. Pat slapped her upside her head. "What? The heck is wrong with you, boa--?!" Pat slapped her again. "Want some more, bay-buh?", Pat asked. The teacher glared at Pat with a deranged look. "Wait, no. I - I was just kidding. NOOOO!"
The teacher grabbed Pat by his next and hoisted him up in the air. "Can't... breathe!", Pat pleaded as he gasped for air. The teacher threw Pat across the air and he crashed into the glass door, which split into a million pieces. The teacher pulled out a gun and shot rapidly at Pat! Pat grabbed a textbook and used it as a shield. The teacher now ran towards Pat and kicked the textbook. Her foot ripped through the book and hit Pat in the nose! Pat flipped through the air and crashed through the floor! Pat, now in the basement, saw the teacher about to body-slam from the above floor. Pat rolled over as the teacher hit the floor and made a split! "Ow!", she yelled in pain! Pat grabbed a metal shovel and SMACKED the teacher across the head with it! The teacher grabbed the end of the shovel and pulled it forward, thus pulling Pat forward.
The teacher grabbed Pat by his collar and pulled a dagger out of her pocket! She slashed Pat's hand and kicked him across the room! Sheila jumped down through the hole in the ceiling and landed on top of the teacher and punched her repeatedly! The teacher grabbed Sheila and tossed her on the floor. Sheila rolled on the ground, jumped up, and standing on one foot was able to hurl torches at the teacher! The torches hit the teacher and she caught fire! In a matter of seconds, not just the teacher, but the entire room had burst into flames! "(coughes) We've gotta - (coughes) - get outta here! (coughes twice)", Sheila said. But 'twas too late. Both Sheila and Pat were surrounded in a circle of fire! The lives of two pre-teens hung in the balance!
A Hasty Escape!Edit
Roger quickly grabbed a fire extinguisher and put out the fire! The lives of Pat and Sheila were spared. When the three were back in their seats, the Principal busted into the room! "What's going onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn?!", the principal asked as he fell through the hole in the floor to the basement. "What the -?! Everything is burnt!", the principal yelled. "Yeah, see... the substitute teacher --", Pat said. "The substitute teacher is fired!", the principal shouted, and walked up to Roger, Pat, and Sheila. "As for you...", he said with a menacing frown, "are --" "Wait! Principal! It's not their fault! I did it", the teacher admitted. "I see", the principal said. The guy now had no reason to punish the student which he wanted to, oh so badly. The principal left the room and the teacher continued her class.
Of course, the next class was Gym. "You know, I may not be sporty, but I still like gym", Roger said. "That's the spirit, Roger. Way to be optimistic!", Sheila encouraged. The gym teacher (Mr. Ricardo) walked up to Sheila and yelled "SHUT YO MOUTH!" "But I --", Sheila shouted. "SHUT YO MOUTH!", Mr. Ricardo continued. "Hey, she --!", Pat argued. "SHUT YO MOUTH!", Mr. Ricardo repeated. Mr. Ricardo's wife walked up behind him and asked, "Honey, do --?" "SHUT YO MOUTH! Oh wait, Honey? No! Don't leave!", the teacher begged. "That's it! This marriage is over! I'm filing a divorce slip!", the wife shouted and marched away. "You! You ruined my chance at true love! Why if I ever catch you in a dark alley, I'm gonna shove a knife down your throat and rip out your --!"
By now, the entire class was staring right at Mr. Ricardo who was threatening Pat. "Heh heh", Mr. Ricardo chuckled, trying to cover up the whole thing. He then handed out a bunch of basketballs that the kids were supposed to dribble for the next minute or two. Then Mr. Ricardo took out his cell phone and started texting of all things! Why, the guy lost track off time, so by the time he had finished his conversation, it had been half-an-hour - and the kids were on the ground, panting and sweating.
Mr. Ricardo did not know that such time had passed, and thought the class has tired out after a minute of dribbling a measly ball. So he let out a monologue: "See? This is what is wrong with today's generation! You guys have all the time to play video games and eat Doritios but you can't even dribble a ball for two minutes?!", Mr. Ricardo yelled, angrily. "What do you mean, you've had us at this for a half hour!", Sheila argued. "No, it only feels like half an hour because ya so dang lazy!", Mr. Ricardo yelled.
Now that really set Sheila off. Sheila's the kind of girl who's had to work over everything she's earned in life. Saying that she is lazy is like lighting a fuse in a house made of dynamite. Sheila lunged at Mr. Ricardo and PUNCHED him in the nose! Mr. Ricardo flipped through the air and hit the wall, leaving a gigantic crack in the wall! Mr. Ricaro hurled a sharp rubber star at Sheila! Sheila dosged, grabbed the star, and threw it back at Mr. Ricardo. It ripped across his face, leaving a scar. Mr. Ricardo charged at Sheila, foaming from the mouth. Ricardo swung at Sheila, who dodged the attack, and kicked him in his jaw! Ricardo fell back on the waxed floor and growled angrily.
An All-Out BrawlEdit
Mr. Ricardo summoned the other course teachers (Ms. Maraculous - Art, Mr. Duncus - Music, etc) and they all charged at the children. The children charged back. CRASH! The two groups clashed and an all-out brawl broke out! Kids punched teachers, teachers side-kicked kids. It was a battle to remember! Rogert pulled out a cannon and shot at Mr. Ricardo! The cannonball hit him and the entire gym exploded!! A teacher grabbed Roger from behind and strangled him! Roger, barely breathing, took out a knife and poked the teacher in the eye! The teacher backed away in pain as Roger was able to drop him on the ground and punch him repeatedly!
Just then, a whole swarm of teachers charged at Roger! Roger jumped up and delivered a charging blow to one! Then Roger punched another! And then he kicked another and punched and kicked and punched and kicked and BRUTALLY MANGLED them all!!! Just as Roger was out of energy, one of the teachers snuck up behind him with a chainsaw!!! Pat saw this and kicked the teacher from behind! The teacher flew through the air and hit the wall with a tremendous bang that causes half of the school to collapse on top if the entire thing! Roger, Pat, and Sheila quickly evacuated as the other kids and teachers were nearly crushed to death by the immense falling debris!
The Test, or "Pop Quiz" Edit
The police, and fire departments arrived on the scene! "What happened?", an officer asked, "We were just here an hour ago, and now there's already another emergency?!" "Well, you see, there was --", Roger started. Mr. Ricardo came flying out of NOWHERE and crashed into the police car, causing it to burst into flames! "What'd I miss?", he asked, emerging from the flames. "That guy went wild and ordered 1/3 of the school faculty to take us out!", Sheila yelled. "That is not true, you snitch!", Mr. Ricardo yelled and lunged forth to snuff Sheila! A firefighter pulled the crazed teacher back and handcuffed him. Before long, Mr. Ricardo was arrested and class went on as scheduled.
"Class", the new teacher said, "we shall take a popped quiz." The class groaned. "You dare defy ME?!", the teacher yelled. The class gulped. "Much better", the teacher said and handed out the unexpected test. When Roger obtained the exam, he took one look at it and said, "We never learned this." "As if I care", the teacher said, "just do it." "Do it? How? This is college-level stuff!", Roger argued. "You should have studied", the teacher said. "How are we supposed to study if we never learned it?!", Roger continued. "Listen, you kids are in control of your own future. It is not my fault is you don't take the time to study and enrich your feeble-minded brain", the teacher said. "But we never learned it!", Roger yelled.
"Well the class learned it, but you probably did not because you were too busy "doodling" to pay attention", the teacher said. "No! What are you talking about?!", Roger screamed. "My point is, drawing is useless trash. Really, who ever heard of folks making careers by drawing", the teacher said. "There are lots of jobs! You can be an animator, or a storyboard artist, or a painter", Roger said. "You can talk all you want, but people who draw are STUPID! Read my lips Booger Boy, STEW-PID!", the teacher taunted. "No it's not! I draw all the time and I'm at the top of my class!", Roger announced. "If so, why can't you do the test?", the teacher asked. That was it.
Roger completely lost it. He tackled the teacher and punched her repeatedly! The teacher kicked Roger off and scraped him with her long nails! Roger backed up towards the window as the teacher grabbed a pile of thumbtacks and hurled them straight at Roger! Pat jumped in the middle of the battle, as the thumbtacks pierced through his body!!! Pat fell on the ground as blood sprouted from his chest! The teacher stood over Pat, ready to stab him with a knife and end his life! Roger jumped towards the teacher and punched her, then pulled the knife!
Roger slashed at the teacher, leaving a huge cut across her neck! The teacher knocked the knife out of Roger's hand and smacked him! Roger flew back and fell out the window! The teacher jumped out and kicked Roger! Roger hit the ground, jumped in the air and kicked the teacher! The teacher flew back and crashed into the school, leaving a pile of debris and slid on the waxed hallway floor! Roger jumped towards the teacher and aimed two butcher knifes at her! The teacher jumped back and Roger hit the floor with a BANG! The teacher pulled out a gun aimed at Roger when Sheila BURST through the wall and shot rapidly at the teacher!
The teacher ducked and shot at Sheila's leg! Sheila was severely injured and fell on the ground in searing pain! Roger jumped up and smacked the teacher! The teacher aimed the gun at Roger, but Roger turned the gun around and it shot the teacher! The teacher backed in pain, and then pulled out a grenade which she tossed at Roger! Roger caught it in his hand, but not before it blew up in his face and Roger rocketed out of the school! Roger crashed into a billboard, which toppled over and collapsed onto the school, destroying the only half that was standing! Just imagine the scared faces on both teacher and student as a billboard comes crashing through the ceiling and just destroys the classroom, leaving it as nothing but a pile of rubble!
Roger emerged from a pile of soot and limped over to the remains of the teacher. She just lay there, lifeless. Just as Roger thought that his foe was subdued, the teacher jumped up and shocked Roger in the heart with a taser, leaving him lifeless! The teacher walked over to the middle of it all, as the students and teachers (at least, those who survived), police and firefighters (who came for the 4th time in the day) watched and waited.
"Fellow adults, these children have messed with us for the last time. They must realize that they are fools, and that teachers are their masters who they must obey! Because when you think about it, children are nothing but slaves and worthless freaks who we, the smartest of all, must raise in our own image. So we must lock these --!" But before the teacher could finish her speech, Pat BASHED her over the head with a cinderblock! The teacher fell on the burned grass, unconscious. "Treason! Treason! Treason!", the adults chanted. "Uh-oh", Pat muttered.
The Death of a FriendEdit
Another teacher stepped up to the podium and violently pushed Pat off without hesitation! "Hey, watch it!", Pat said. "Silence, fool! You and your bands of idiotic children have done enough damage!", the teacher replied. "US?! Are you KIDDING me?! It was you and your old 'n stupid friends who destroyed the dang school anyway!", Pat yelled. "You children are so immature! When will you learn that we are smarter than you?! We are your masters! Without us, there'd be no you!", the teacher yelled. "If it wasn't for us, there'd BE no future!", Pat yelled. The teacher slapped Pat! "Shut up!", the teacher commanded. Pat kicked the teacher in her shin and stomped on her foot! The teacher jumped in the air and kicked Pat in the face! Pat flew back and landed on the ground! "That is what you pesky brats get for defying us!", the teacher yelled. She picked up Pat and punched him dead in the face as hard as she could! Pat flew back! The teacher repeatedly stomped on his face until blood gushed out profusely!!! "You fat, piece of trash! Die! Die!", the teacher shouted, giving Pat no mercy! "No... I won't give up...", Pat said, though he was on the verge of death!
Meanwhile, Roger emerged from under the rubble of the now desenagrated school. "S-Sheila...?", he called. "Sheila!", Roger yelled in alarm. He hurriedly dug around in the debris, trying to find his best friend! "Sheila!!!", he yelled desperately. Finally, he found her lifeless body underneath some textbooks. "Sheila, are you okay?", Roger asked. She didn't say anything. "Sheila, say something!", he pleaded, tears rolling from his eyes. The girl just stood there... lifeless. Roger listened for her heartbeat. Nothing; she wasn't even breathing. "Sheila! No...! No! Please, oh gosh, NO!", Roger begged, puddles of tears falling from his eyes. "... please tell me it's not over...", Roger said, his eyes now bright red. Nothing. Sheila was dead. "NOOOOO!", Roger yelled at the top of his lungs so loud that everyone could hear him. Everyone turned in the direction of the heart-broken Roger. Even the Teacher stopped beating Pat to a pulp to listen. Pat seized that moment and tripped the teacher to the ground! Pat quickly got up and kicked the teacher in the head as hard as he could! "Umpf!", Pat muttered, frustrated, then ran over to Roger's side.
"Sheila... what...?", Pat started. "She's... she's gone...", Roger reluctantly stated, his voice crackling. "No... no, it can't be!", Pat said, not believing the truth. "It's true...", Roger told him. "Sheila is... dead?!", Pat asked, about to burst into crying. Roger tried to hold back tears. Pat got up and backed away in fear from Sheila's corpse. "No... NO! NO! SHEILA CAN'T BE DEAD! SHE CAN'T!", Pat shouted. Pat took one last look at Sheila... and ran away into the darkness. The rest of the crowd gathered in a moment of silence for the fallen heroine.
Just then, the Principal arrived on the scene. "So ends the legacy of a foolish girl. May gosh bless her poor, deluded soul", the Principal said out loud with a smirk. Roger's eyes suddenly perked up. He took a look at the Principal. In a flash, Roger had violently lunged at him! "You... you MONSTER!", Roger yelled, trying to snuff him! The Principal blocked all his attacks and punched Roger to the floor! "You just don't stop do you?", the Principal asked. Roger looked up at him, his eyes full of tears. "You all caused all this", the Principal announced, looking at the students. "All of you... spoiled brats who can't control themselves. It's not your parents, it's not the teachers... it's you! All of you!", the Principal yelled, "... and so you have paid the price." "It was not us! It was the teachers! The faculty just treates us like slaves! Like... we're... doo-doo!", Roger yelled. "Maybe you are...", the Principal whispered. Roger got up and swung at him again! The Principal tripped Roger to the ground!
"You insignificant buffoon", the Principal said, "It's in your nature to disrespect authority. And now it has come to this. The death of a peer. Oh, boo hoo. Sob, sob, sob! YOU are to blame for this, Roger!", the Principal yelled in his face, "YOU are responsible for this girl's death and now the whole town will suffer!" By now, the Principal was just inches away from Roger's face. "It wasn't me. I know it in my heart", Roger said. "Your heart? Heh. Your heart?! If your heart is so good at telling the truth, can it say that you are NOT responsible for this mess?", the Principal asked. "N-no...", Roger answered. "Exactly", the Principal said, "Now run. Run away and never return!" Roger got up and started to run. "And don't forget: this is all your fault!", the Principal shouted. These words rang in Roger's ears as he fled the scene: "This is all your fault. All your fault. Your fault. (echo) Fault, fault, fault..."
The next morning, Roger woke up in a forest. "Ugh... wha-what?", Roger stammared. He looked around. "Where am I?", he asked. Shuffle! "What was that?" Crack! "Eek!" Out of nowhere, a tiger appeared and pounced Roger to the ground! "Whoa!", Roger shouted. The tiger swung ferociously at Roger, trying to rip off his flesh! Roger desperately tried to pry him off! Roger kicked it off, and grabbed a giant branch! The tiger lunged at Roger and sought to bite him! Roger put the branch inbetween the tiger's teeth and kicked it away! Then, Roger made a run for it into the deepest threads of the jungle, with the tiger in hot pursuit!
Soon, Roger found him at the edge of a waterfall. He went to turn back, but saw the tiger slowly walking towards him. Without hesitation, Roger jumped off the waterfall and into the depths below! The tiger stood above, angry that its prey had chosen to kill itself instead of being mauled.
Roger landed at the bottom of the fall, and rushed to get on land. When he did, all his clothes were soaking wet, and his hair ruined to boot. Roger got up and limped to find shade. He sat down on a rock, and thought about he was gonna get some grub. He heard more shuffling. "What --?", Roger started. Suddenly, he was pounded to the floor by an unknown object! "How the ---?!", Roger yelled. The object turned out to be Pat! "Roger?", Pat asked, confused. "Patrick!", Roger said, happy to see his friend. Roger got up to hug him, but Pat punched him to the ground! "What's wrong with you?", Roger asked. "Shut up!", Pat shouted and kicked him. Roger got up and snuffed Pat in the stomach! Pat jumped in the air and kicked Roger in the shoulder! Roger flew back and hit a tree, which toppled over into the water, and caused the water to rise into a giant wave!
"Oh... my...". Pat started. The giant wave collapsed the two, drenching them in gallons of salt water! "This is YOUR fault!", Pat yelled. Those words echoed in Roger's head as he remembered the previous encounter with the Principal. "Aaaagh!", Roger exploded in a fit of rage! He swiped at Pat! Pat jumped back while Roger's claws dug into Pat's shirt and ripped it off! Pat gave Roger a punch across the jaw! Roger twisted his head, then went to strangle Pat! Pat ducked and headbutted Roger in the stomach! Roger flew back as Pat scratched across Roger's face! Roger turned around with nail marks on his cheek, then punched Pat! Pat flew back, then faced Roger! Roger punched Pat again! Roger punched Pat repeatedly, until his face was all mushy! And this was all happening while they were being pushed by a gigantic wave!
Roger quickly jumped onto a branch of a nearby tree to climb to safety. Just when it seemed that he was safe, Pat grabbed Roger by the foot! "If I'm goin' down, I'm taking you with me!", Pat yelled. "Not today!", Roger yelled and kicked Pat as hard as he could in the face! Pat's nose cracked as blood flew everywhere! Pat was carried by the waves over the horizon! He then started to drown, until all that was left of him was a puddle of red liquid. Roger perched himself on the tree, and wiped all of Pat's blood off his shoes. Roger watched as the water went and left... not knowing where it was going.
However, the giant wave was going to hit Schoolyard and destroy everything! "This is Breaking News!", the reporter that had now interrupted every program on television announced, "A giant wave is about to crash into Schoolyard. We must evacuate immediately and... what is that?" Suddenly, on TV, the entire set had been invaded by a giant wave of water! "Auuughhh! Heeeelp!", were the reporter's last words! Suddenly, the entire town was in complete pandemonium! Over the horizon, the giant wave anyone had ever seen was about to crash on top of them! CRAAAAAASH!
All the people and houses near the entrance of the town were now killed and destroyed by the approaching wave! "Run! Run before ---!", were the last orders of the Police Chief as the waves swallowed him up! In a matter of seconds, half of the town was destroyed and under water! The Principal saw the wave about to hit the school. There was nothing more he could do. It was all over. "Godspeed", he muttered. BAAAAM! The Principal and the school were both hit full-force, crumbling each! The town was completely demolished! Almost everyone was dead! It was the end of the world as they knew it!
Back in the forest, Roger had a sudden realization. Both Sheila and Pat were dead. Why? Because of something the teachers had started. It was all their fault. THEY were responsible for this. Teachers were a threat to civilization. A threat to the world! They had to be defeated once and for all! And thus, Roger made a decision. He would join together a group of children - build an army. An army that would defeat the teachers once and for all! And the world would be a safe place... Yes... Roger swore that from then and there on, he would take complete responsible for everything that would happen thereon. He would be a modern day Ulysses S. Grant, only pint-sized! And that is where our story begins.
Meanwhile, the superintendent of Schoolyard's school district was among the select few of people to survive the catatrosphe. He looked at the once wonderful town now reduced to dust and ash. And who did he think was responsible? The children. The spoiled, rude, snot-nosed children. They had started this. THEY were responsible for the deaths of hundreds of people. Children were a threat to society. A threat to the world! They had to be defeated once and for all! The Superintendent made a decision. He would join together a group of teachers - build an army. An army that would defeat the children once and for all! And the world would be a safe place... Yes... The Superintendent swore that from then and there on, he would take complete responsibility for everything that would happen thereon. He would be a modern day Ulysses S. Grant, only a bit older and still pretty bold. And that is where their story begins.
Finding a New Pair of AlliesEdit
Roger continued walking in the forest. "Sigh... it's so boring without a pair of friends to help you. I'll have to find some new ones", he said to himself, "But where will I find two friends who are just as friendly and determined as Pat and Sheila?"
Meanwhile, in a school at the next town, Joe reached behind him and unsheathed a machete! He lunged forth at the teacher! He slashed at her! She jumped over the blade and kicked him! Joe flew back and crashed into a table! The machete was on the floor, in front of the teacher! The teacher grabbed the machete and sauntered forth at Joe! She slashed at him! The machete cut Joe's shirt in half! "Grrr...", the boy growled in anger. He swung at the teacher! The teacher ducked and tripped him on the floor! As Joe lay on the ground, the teacher pointed the machete at him! "I'm gonna end you...", she threatened.
A girl named Linda jumped on the teacher's back and strangled her! "Aaak!", the teacher choked. Joe got up and kicked the teacher's leg! The teacher jumped back in pain, and fell out the window! "Aaaah!", the teacher and Linda yelled as they fell through the air! Joe grabbed the machete and jumped out the window after them! Joe slashed at the teacher! The teacher grabbed the blade of the machete and pulled it from him! Linda pierced her nails into the teacher's neck! The teacher wailed and let go of the machete! Linda grabbed it and slashed the teacher!
The teacher flew back, bleeding profusely, and crashed into the side of the building! "Waaaagh!", she yowled in pain. "Take my hand!", Linda told Joe. Joe took Linda's hand as Linda pierced the blade of the machete into the side of the school! The teacher fell through the air and landed on the hard concrete of the ground... and lay there, lifeless. "Gasp, gasp...", Joe panted. "Now how are we gonna get back up?", Linda asked. "Beats me, Linda", Joe replied. "What kind of best friend are you, Joe, if you can't even find out a way out of a life-death situation?", Linda asked. "Well, what kind of best friend has 'getting into a life-death situation' on his mind all the time?!", Joe retorted.
Meanwhile, Roger had come to a bunch of thick trees that blocked the passageway. "Hmm. What could be behind these trees?", he wondered. The boy looked through the small opening and spotted what looked like another city. "Hey, look at that! A new town!", Roger sighed, excitedly. He climbed to the top of the tree so he could get a better look. He saw the entire town from up there... well, maybe not the entire town, but a rather large chunk of it. Okay, perhaps he... you know what, shut up! Anyway, he saw the town and it was great. "Wow. This town is so awwwww-some!", Roger stammared as he nearly fell out of the tree! "Whoa! That was clooooooooose!", Roger shouted as he fell out of the tree!
Meanwhile again, Joe & Linda were hanging off the edge of the school, barely holding the machete! "Okay, okay, just relax, Linda. Someone will see us here", Joe reassured. "Yeah, they will... when our lifeless corpses are on the ground along with a puddle of blood!", Linda shouted.
Meanwhile yet again, Roger was falling through the air, about to be splattered all over the street! "Aaaahh! This is the end!", Roger shouted. However, just as it seemed that he was gonna die, a car drove under him. Roger landed on the roof of the car and hung on for dear life! "Whoa!", Roger yelled as the car made a swift turn that nearly knocked him off!
Also meanwhile, Linda's hand was slipping from the machete! "You have to hold on!", Joe shouted. "I can't hold on, you idiot!", Linda shouted back. "It's not nice to call people an idiot, you idiot!", Joe retorted. "Then why are you calling me an idiot, you idiot?!", Linda pointed out. Linda's hand slipped off the machete, and now it was just her pinky hanging on! "Waaah!", the two friends shrieked.
Just around the corner, the car which Roger was on was driving past the school! The car made another swerve! "Raaaah!", Roger yelled as he fell off the car! The boy rolled on the grass and landed near the side of the school!
Just then, Linda let go of the machete and she and Joe fell through the air! "Aaaah!", the two shouted. "Aaaah!", Roger shouted. Joe and Linda landed on top of Roger! "Oof!", Roger gasped. "What the --?!", Joe said in shock. "This guy saved us", Linda said, looking at Roger. He was unconscious, what with flying off the roof of a car and having two kids fall from various stories only to crash-land on him! "Is he... alive?", Joe asked, disgusted. Linda listened for Roger's heartbeat. She heard nothing. "His heart's not beating", she said. "Great! We killed a kid!", Joe groaned. "We need to rush him to the hospital...", Linda explained.
"Ugh...", Roger grunted. He opened his eyes to find himself in an ominous white room. "Wh-where am I?", he asked "You're in the hospital". Joe explained. He and Linda were sitting in the corner of the room. "Who are you?", Roger asked. "I'm the guy who landed on top of you and nearly killed you! ^_^", Roger said with a sheepish smile. "You...", Roger growled, foaming from the mouth, "... You BEAST!" Roger jumped out of bed and tackled Joe to the floor and punched him repeatedly! "Hey! G-get off him!", Linda commanded. Joe kicked Roger off and jumped up!
Joe reached into one of the drawers in the room, and pulled out a bunch of needles! He hurled them at Joe, who hastily dodged the needles as they went into the walls! Roger lunged at Joe! Roger pushed Joe into the wall, where his head hit the wall and cracked the glass of a framed picture! "Ugh...", Joe grunted in pain. Roger ounched at Joe! Joe blocked the attack and punched Roger! Roger crashed through the window and fell down! Joe panted, then looked out the window. A fist suddenly came at him! The fist hit Joe and he flew back, landing on the floor with a busted lip!
Roger, whose fist hit Joe, pulled himself up through the window. "Heh heh...", he cackled maniacally and sauntered forth towards Joe. "Leave him alone!", Linda said, blocking Roger's way. Roger smacked Linda! Linda flew back and landed on the hospital bed, a hand mark on her cheek. Roger stood over Joe and clenched his hand into a fist! "I've wanted to do this for the past minute...", Roger said with a smirk, punching forth! Just then, the doctor ran into the room with a double-barreled shotgun and shot at Roger! Joe jumped up and put himself into front of Roger to block the bullet! Roger pushed Joe away, then raised his foot. The bullet hit Roger's shoe, but did not sink in due to the tough material the shoe was made of.
"Uh-oh...", the doctor muttered. "End him...", Joe commanded. Roger, Joe, and Linda sauntered forth at the doctor! "No! No, please! This was all a misunderstating! No, have mercy! Aaaah!", were the doctor's last words as the trio pounced on him, dragged him to a dark corner, and ended him!...
After Linda dumped the doctor's corpse in the dumpster, she walked up to Roger and Joe, who were talking. "Heh heh. Sorry for trying to kill you", Roger apologized. "Hey, it was you who saved me. I should be the one thanking you", Joe explained. "Actually, it was I who saved you who saved me", Roger corrected. "So... what brings you here, random kid?", Linda asked. "Well, my name is Roger, and I'm here searching for allies", Roger said. "Why?", Joe asked.
Roger told Joe & Linda the whole story of what happened in the previous chapters. "What the --?! That's too intense! That's like there's an all-out brawl every few minutes and each one's more action packed than the last!", Joe shouted. "Yeah. Yeah, it was. Now I just need to get some folks to be on my team", Roger said. "Well, we'll be on your team", Linda said, "And we could possibly get some other kids from the school to side with you." "Really? You'd do that?", Roger asked. "Yep. Consider us the New Pat and Sheila", Joe agreed. The three friends shpok hands and walked off into the sunset.
However, unbeknownst to them, the Superintendent was listened to their entire conversation! O_O! "So that's what they're gonna do, eh? Looks I'll have to get some adult allies from that school, too. Mwah ha ha ha!", the Superintendent cackled maniacally. Now who will get their allies first? This determines who shall win the war, and whether it will be either the kids or the teachers eliminated from the planet! Who will win? Well, it's quite simple. The ---
Editor-in-Chief: No, you fool! You can't tell them! It's too grand for the fool reading this to comprehend!
No.. no, I must! There's nothing you can do to stop me!
Editor-in-Chief: Oh, yeah...? (pulls out sniper rifle and cocks it)
No, I'd better hasten! The winner is the ---
Editor-in-Chief: (shoots rapidly at the narrator)
Ugh! Oh! Oh! Ugh! Aaaah! (falls on the floor, bleeding profusely and on the verge of death) Ugh... With my last, dying breath, I say the winner is --
Editor-in-Chief: Die, traitor! (shoots narrator various more times)
Ugh... no... (closes eyes, and lays there, dead)
Editor-in-Chief: Gasp, gasp! I didn't want to do it. He was one of my most trusted narrators. But... but he crossed the line. I had to END him... Now, I'll have to find a new narrator. Hey! Are they any spare narrators here!
New Narrator: I'm here. Can I narrate?
Editor-in-Chief: Sure, knock yourself out. I'm gonna go get myself a Coke.
New Narrator: Okay, bye! Whoo, this is so awesome! I'm the narrator of one of the coolest stories ever, "Kids vs. Teachers"! Hee hee hee... Oh wait, I have to make my words blend in with the page.
Ah, there we go! Now where was the last narrator before he was brutally killed? Oh, yeah: Who will win? Well, just read on to find out...