How many of you are familiar with French-Friers? It's those trays full of grease that turn ordinary sliced potatoes into the ones called french-fries. It also makes other deep-fried foods. But what would happen if it came to life and terrorized people?! Deep, ain't it? Well, that's what this story is about. Go on and read one of the most intense food-related stories the world has ever known!
Note from the AuthorEdit
Someone had to try something first. Walt Disney tried the first full-length animated movie. Benjamin Franklin first harnessed the power of electricity. And whatnot. But who ever made a story about food? No one. Yep. No one. That's injustice! Just cuz food is inanimate, doesn't mean it can't provide a good story. So I, a close friend of Random Kid, have created this: the world's first food-related story! And I've taken the extra mile to make sure it's entertaining. So go ahead and bask in the glory that is... FRENCH FRIES!
(Note: Should anyone steal this genious idea of mine, I'll hunt cha down like a dog and sue you of every penny!)
--- Close Friend of Random Kid, 6:48 PM, 12/31/09
'Twas a normal day at the Burger Queen restaurant. I'm sure you've all heard of Burger King, right? I mean, everyone has unless you've been living under a rock. Well this is the Burger Queen. And in this place called Burger Queen, the kitchen was bustling with the preparations of quickly-cooked meals and whatnot. Alongside all the burger grills and soda machines, lay 3 friench-friers burning with grease. Inside said french-friers were sliced pieces of potato (and/or potahto) being deep-fried. Thus healthy potato (or pahtahto) is transformed into salty, crispy french fry. But this was all the french frier could do. It didn't have any special job or anything like that. Some random fat guy plops potato into this tray. Does THAT sound intresting? No, no it doesn't. And it's a cryin' shame, too. But these friench-friers were inanimate objects. They couldn't do anything. They were fools, is all.
The boring friench-friers all alone in the abondoned restaurant at some freezing 1:30 in the morning. No one came in. No one came out. Eh.. this is so boring. Why the heck did I sign up as narrator for this? It's bunk! I'm outta 'ere! (leaves set)............
Here I am at the audition studio. I'm trying out for the role of Brando in Disaster Story: The Movie. It's my turn. Ahem. "Oh no! What's that?! We're all gonna die!" What? Not good enough. OK lemme try another line. Here's a good one. Ahem. "Alex, we must defeat the Decievers! It'll be an intense battle, but we must--!" Huh? What do you mean I'm no good? I'm the best darn actor in the whole auditorium. My mama's fat?! That's it! Gaarrrr! Dah! Guhn! Eat this! Bwuh! Let go of me ya dumb guards! Whoooa! Gah! I can't believe this. I tried out for a movie and I get thrown in a trash can. Sigh. What's that ol' place I used to work at? Oh yeah, narrator at Stories and Info Wiki! Hello? Yes. I'd like my job back. What? I can't? Why?! 'Cuz I was a fool for leaving the world's best wiki for a movie?! That's a dirty rotten lie! The creator of this wiki is the executive director of the movie also. Hey. Hey! Don't hang up on me! Wha-what are you... Ugh. I blew it. I lost the best job in the world. Let's sing a song! 'Cause you had a bad day You say you don't lie You sing a sad song just to turn it around You had a bad day - ay -aayy Oh you had a bad dayyyyyy. RING! Huh? Some fool's calling me on my cell. Yello. Random Kid! I get my job back? Oh thank you! How can I repay ya? I have to shut up and get to the set? Right away, sir! OK folks, here's the rest of the story:
The boring friench-friers all alone in the abondoned restaurant at some freezing 1:30 in the morning. No one came in. No one came out. Across the street was a scientist who was working on a project to make things come to life. 'Twas the Awakenator! Said scientist was testing this on an average clock. ZAP! The clock is shocked by the Awakenatror. In a matter of seconds, the clock is brought to life. "It works!", the scientist cheered. Suddenly, a tentacle sprout out from the clock and choked the scientist. "Uph. Where did I go wrooong?", the scientist said with one last breath. With the scientist gone, the clock knocked the Awakenator out the window and rode off into the city night.
The French-Frier Comes to Life!Edit
The clock went on an intense journey but the heck with that, we have to focuse on the french-friers. After all that's what the title's about. "The Evil French-Frier!" Does it say "The Evil Clock"? I thought not. So the Awakenator landed on the city street. A car came driving down the road and knocked away the machine. It rolled over to the door of the Burger Queen. 'Twas then that a random teenager who worked the night shift walked up to the restaurant and noticed the odd machine. He brought it in, not knowing the power it held, and went to the cash register. However, curiousity soon consumed this random teenager and he pressed the button on the Awakenator. It released a ray of light that hit the door to the kitchen. The door came to life. "Oh.. my... gosh", the random teenager said in awe. And thus the door properly disposed of this random teenager and took the Awakenator. The door slid on a puddle of water which lay on the restaurant floor. The Awakenator went flying out of its hands and into the kitchen where it landed upside down. But the same button you had to press to release the ray of light that made the inanimate object live was on the top of said Awakenator. So when it landed upside down, the button was pressed. Thus the ray of light was released and hit the french-friers. And the french-friers came to life and jumped off the counter. The french-friers walked up to the door. The french-frier easily disposed of the door. Of course, you know what this meant. If this french-frier could dispose of an object which could dispose of a human, citizens of this city would be hopelessly defenseless. And they were.
But of course, no good story has just some random villain. There must be a hero, a winner, a victor, a savior, a whatnot! And that's what Jack Chase was. Jack Chase was an average child like you or I, and only wanted to do good in this little world full of horror. And he was about to get his big break. Not as a hero, but as a movie star. He had been cast as Alex in Disaster Story: The Movie. So he was heading to Hollywood to meet Random Kid. However, as "stoked" as he was to star in a movie of such calibar, he could never keep away from his true dream. He even sang a song that went somewhat like this:
I've always wanted to be a hero. But I've always been known as a zero. Now I'm gonna star in a movie. Now don't that sound groovy? But it'll never keep me away from my true dream. The sunshine beeeeams... Ba-da-da-bum-ba-da-dum! Hero! Ain't gonna be no zero! Hero! It's not good to drink some beer-o. Hero! A calf's a baby deer-o. Hero! My cousin lives in southern Keer-o. Hero-oooooooo! But now I'm playing Alex Ciero, but I dream of being a hero-oooo... (NOTE: "Ciero" is pronounced "cerr-o)
Great song ain't it? Yep, the kid's a natural. That movie he's in should be a musical. Now back to those french-friers.
The French-Friers Strike Again!Edit
The french-friers stood in the middle of the street. Cars passed on by. One car was just about to hit the french-friers. The friench-frier picked up said car and threw towards a random building. The building burst into flames and fell over. It fell onto yet another building, causing THAT to burst into flames and topple over. And soon enough, a whole bunch of buildings had collapsed and this once beautiful city was reduced to a smokin' pile of ashes. Now Jack and his family, on their car ride to California, were passing by this city and were immediately surprised. "What in the world happened here?", Jack's mom said as she got out of the car. "Smells like burnt chicken", Jack's dad stated as he stood next to a pile of ashy chicken bones. "I have a bad feeling about this", Jack said uncomfortably. Suddenly, the french-friers jumped out from the sky and landed in front of the Chase family. The three of them screamed at the top of their lungs. Dad then pointed out that it was just a french-frier. The french-frier then grew to a massive size of a thousand times bigger than Dad. Dad fainted. The french-friers picked up Dad and threw him into the air. Dad soared upward into outer space and was never seen again. The french-friers then looked at Jack & his mom. The french-frier reached for Jack, ready to kill. Mom pushed her son away and got herself in the french-frier's clutches. The french-frier disposed of Mom and glared at their next victim: Jack.
The french-frier reached for Jack and grabbed the poor boy. Jack's life flashed before his eyes. Here are some flashbacks:
Jack is an infant who is playing with blocks and whatnot. Dad comes into the room and tells Jack it is time for dinner, which mainly consists of vegetables that Jack despises. In a fit of rage, Jack tosses a block at Dad. Dad is hit in the head and falls down unconscious. Mom comes in and says "WHAT THE HECK?!"
It is the first day of kindergarten. A random kid walks to Jack and asks "Do you like ice cream?" Jack replies "yes." And said random kid said "Then why don't you marry it?" Jack is embarassed as kids from around the room laugh at him. Jack tackles the random kid and punches him. The teacher comes in and wonders what happened. The class vanishes in a matter of seconds, leaving a poor random kid pinned to the ground by Jack.
Some more flashbacks:
It's Christmas and Jack is sitting on the lap of a department store Santa. Jack questions whether this "department store" Santa is the real Santa. DS Santa is dumbfounded. He puts Jack down and rushes to the employees room. DS Santa and his boss come out of the room and drag Jack to a utility closet. The boss tells Jack that it is NOT the real Santa, but he'll give Jack a dollar to keep his mouth shut. Jack agrees. The boss takes out his wallet (which is full of hundred dollar bills) and gives Jack one dollar. Jack snatches the wallet and makes a run for it.
Yet another flashback:
Jack & family are at Walt Disney World Resort in Florida. They are in World Showcase at Epcot. In each "world", they have cuisine based on each culture. Jack wants chinese food. His parents say no. Jack, upset, runs away to the Spaceship Earth ball that lays in the middle of the park. He lays down near the ball. The ball topples off its surface due to Jack's weigh and rolls through the park, destroying rides, stores, and squashing tourists. The ball ends up escaping the barrier of Epcot and breaking into other parks. It runs into Magic Kingdom and crashes into Cinderella's Castle. The castle bursts into flames and falls down, sparkling a fire that burns through the whole park. The fire is put out but all is ruined and re-construction of Magic Kingdom and Epcot must begin. Jack & family is kicked out and banned from all the Disney Parks.
Jack and Dad sits down on the couch watching "The Simpsons" on FOX when Mom recieves the mail. The mail consists of;
- Note for Jack Chase
"Wait a second! Jack, you've got mail!", Mom shouts. "E-mail?", Jack asks, stuffing his face with chips. "No", his Mom replies. "Then I don't want it!", Jack yells and stuffs more chips in his mouth. "It's from 'Hollywood, California'", Mom states. Jack spits chip bits out of his mouth and says "Hollywood?!" He rushes over to his Mom and snatches the envelope out of her hand. He quickly opens it to find a note from the Random Kid Kompany. It states that he's been chosen to portray Alex Ciero in the new Disaster Story Movie. Jack had loved these books his whole life, and now he could star in the movie! Jack let out a yell of triumph and demanded to set coordinates for Los Angeles immediately.
By the time Jack was done with that last flashback, he was surrounded by guns. 'Twas all over. Our hero was disposed of.
What? You Were Expecting a Happy Ending?Edit
So you're still here, eh? Did ya not just read this? The guy was disposed of. Killed by an evil french-frier. All hope is lost. So you can go back home. Cry if ya want but you'll never get a happy ending. Life ain't all sugeaplums and whatnot. It's cold, hard reality! And you have to deal wit it! So go ahead. I'm just tryin' to prepare you for the future, is all. Fine, I didn't want you to read this anyway. Go on! Git! Beat it!................
So you're still here? Will you never get OUT?! Fine. Humph. If you are gonna be a big ugly, squeaky voiced, crazy, crybaby! then I'll tell you the other part of the story.
Jack Chase, the hero of this story who is all alone, stands in the clutches of a humongous living french-frier who is attempting to dispose of him. Chainsaws are closing in. Jack is defenseless. All hope is lost. Just when it seems that evil has won, the french-frier is shot down by rapidly fired bullets. The french-frier topples over. Jack is able to break free of the french-frier's grasp and jump off before it crashes to the ground. It turns out that the bullets have been fired by a mysterious African-American teen in a black cloak. Jack rushes to the teen's side. "Oh thank you thank you Random Stranger. If you hadn't come.. well, who knows what could've happen", Jack said. "You'd be in the funeral home, that's what could've happen. By the way those lifeless folks o'er thee, are they your parents?", the teen asked. "WHAT?! NO!", Jack yelled. He rushed over to his dead parents' side. "No... no... It... it can't be.... I...", Jack cried. He tightened his fist. "I... I shall AVENGE YOU! French-frier, prepare to meet your maker!" The french-frier then rose up from the ground. Jack stood there in awe, as did the teen. The french-frier reached for Jack. Jack stood still, petrified. Just as the french-frier was about to catch him, the teen pushed Jack out of the way. Jack came to his senses and ran for it, with the teen following after. "What is the DEAL with that thing?", Jack asked. "I'm the apprentice of a scientist who built this thing called the Awakenator", the teen said. "It turns any inanimate object to life. That french-frier might have been exposed to it, making it evil", he explained. "So what should we do?", Jack asked. "Get the Awakenator and turn the french-frier back to normal", the teen suggested. And so Jack and the teen went to find the Awakenator, with the french-frier tailing after them.
The French-Frier is Defeated!!!!!!!!!!!!!Edit
Jack and the teen, tired of running, went inside the Burger Queen restaurant to hide from the french-frier. The french-frier did not see their disappearance and kept on running. Jack, while in the restaurant, spotted the Awakenator. He and the teen lifted it up and brought it outside. Jack shouted "Hey Fry-a, over here!" The french-frier heard and immediately spun around, slapping Jack unconscious with its tentacles. The french-frier snatched the teen and hoisted him up. Jack came to and saw his friend about to be disposed of. Jack quickly pointed the Awakenator at the french-frier and put his finger on the reverse switch. The teen, however, was staring right into the french-frier's eyes. He saw behind all this evil and grease, a gentle soul who was trapped inside a villainous enigma. The teen knew what he had to do and shielded the french-frier. But it was too late. Jack had already pulled the trigger. The ray of light that was supposed to hit the french-frier hit the teen instead and turned him into stone. The weight of stone teen pulled the french-frier down to the ground with a tremendous CRASH! The teen was cracked in two and the french-frier was lifeless. The french-frier was rubbed with gas and tossed into the town incinerator, of which it was burned in. Afterward, a funeral was held for all those who had died due to the objects brought to life by the Awakenator:
- The scientist
- The random teenager who worked at the Burger Queen
- The door
- Jack's mom
- Jack's dad
- The teen in the black cloak
- A cast of other unlucky folks who were in the wrong place at the wrong time
As for the Awakenator, it was dismantled and the parts were flushed down a toilet. Yet out of the ashes of this tragety, Jack Chase had become a hero and fufilled his dream. Disaster Story: The Movie was a box-office hit. just because it starred Jack. In his later years, Jack was able to purchase a mansion with dozens of butlers and/or maids to cater to his every whim. Yessir, Jack Chase was living the life. That is, until the french-frier returned. But that's a story for a whole 'nother day....
disposed: killed or taken out