¼ Year Anniversary Special!
Twas about 12:00 in the afternoon. Cameramen and Newsreporters run up to Random Kid as he walks in to the studio in which SIW's 1/4 Year Anniversary Special will be held.
Newsreporter: Random Kid! How do you feel now that your wiki has been running for 1/4 of a year?
Random Kid: Well Harriet, it's not really a big deal until the Year Anniversary down in December. This is just a little gathering to commemorate that the wiki has been successful and running for 3 months.
Newsreporter: "Small" gathering? Have you seen the number of people in that studio?!
Random Kid: (peeks in) Well... I- I had no idea that-
Newsreporter: No time for that! We'll have to get inside, the show starts in 3 minutes!
Random Kid: Uh-oh! (rushes inside backstage) Dan, Rob! You ready?
Dan: Yes sir!
Rob: Lighting is perfect!
Random Kid: Good. Is our special host here yet?!
Dan: Umm... no sir. Everyone is accounted for except-
Car speeds up and curves wildly, stopping right in front of the studio!
J.Severe, administrator of Joel Severe Wiki rushes out!
J.Severe: Thanks Joe! See ya!
Joe: No prob' boss. (pulls off in cab)
J.Severe: (busts in) I'm here!!!
Audience: (turns around and stares at J.Severe).... (silence)...(claps wildly)
Random Guy in Audience: You rock Severe!
J.Severe: I know I know. Thank you all for-
Random Kid: (reaches out of room and pulls J.Severe in)
J.Severe: Whoa! See ya folks!
Random Kid: What the heck do you think you're doing!
J.Severe: Entertaining the audience what else?!
Random Kid: This is my wikis Special! You had your JSW 1/2 Year Anniversary Special 2 days ago on February 18th!
J.Severe: I didn't ask for the attention! They just began clapping! What else was I supposed to do look like a fool in front of a live audience?!
Random Kid: Yeah! This is SIW's Special!
Random Kid and J.Severe scuffled while the director called out that the show starts in 3 seconds...
Director: 3- 2- 1 Action!
Audience: Stares at Random Kid and J.Severe arguing.
Random Kid: And furthermore... What? Huh? Oh hi folks... This is the "SIW" (glares at J.Severe) 1/4 Year Anniversary Special that you're watching. And we have a special host with us today. J.Severe!
Audience: (claps wildly again)
Random Kid: He and I will be your hosts for tonight! Mass entertainment and all will be premeired right here in this very studio.
Audience: (continues to clap)
J.Severe: Let's get this show on the road!
The Special Begins with the "Top 5 Most Intense Battles on SIW"!
Random Kid: Okay. Now let's start with the "Top 5 Most Intense Battles on SIW".
Audience: Most Intense Battles?
J.Severe: Yup! As you should know unless you're just a fool who doesn't understand anything, SIW is chockful of intense battles. Almost on everypage that is! Or at least something that's even remotely intense.
Random Kid: But it always all comes down to the top five that leave the readers beging for more!
J.Severe: So, let's start with #5!!
Dan: (in background) I hope this works... (pulls lever)
A flat screen television slowly comes down from the ceiling.
Random Kid: Heh heh. Okay here it goes!
Screen flashes and shows an intense battle.
Number 5: Braig Gregor vs. His Parents (shown in Short Story: A Normal Day in the Life of Braig Gregor)
Braig walks down stairs cautiously and slips over to dinner table where Mom & Dad are sitting.
Braig: OK Momster, what grub ya got today?
Mom: (looks at Braig intently)
Braig: What? (sniffs armpit) I got a zit?
Mom: (shakes head)
Braig: Then what is it?
Mom: (sits there not doing anything and not blinking or breathing)
Braig: Mom, are you OK?
Mom: (monotone voice) I am OK... (lifts shotgun out from underneath table slowly)... But are you?
Braig: Yeah Mom. I'm fine. Do you have any food? Mac and cheese? Asparagus? Anything?!
Mom: (aims shotgun at Braig)
Braig: Mom. Mom. Mom! Let's not be too hasty! Wa-wa-we're all related here!
Mom: I've always hated you, Braig. And now I'll finally get the chance to eliminate you. (puts finger near trigger) Good-bye, Braig. (pulls trigger)
Braig: (jumps off chair and into air) (lands on ground and hides behind couch)
Mom: (shoots at couch) Fight like a man, Braig!
Braig: (jumps out from behind couch with chainsaw) How's this fer ya, Mama?! (slices Mom's gun in half)
Dad: Retreat! (takes out machine gun and blasts hole in roof)
A helicopter comes and releases a rope through the hole for Mom & Dad to escape.
Mom: See ya, sucker! (climbs rope into helicopter)
Dad: Ha ha ha! (climbs rope into helicopter)
The helicopter rides off, leaving Braig alone in a house full of debris.
Number 4: Random Kid vs. The Home Invader (shown in The Night That I Became a Man!)
Out in the open staring me directly in the face. I had no form of protection against this monstrousity! As soon as it looked like he was going to strike I made a desperate dive to my carpeted room. The home invader made a pursuit and cornered me in the door way! On the floor I was, and the home invader right in front of me. I thought my life was over, all that I had worked for wasted. But as I thought about that, I got really angry and threw whatever was in my hand at him. Which was ironically, a glass cup that I had drank from. The home invader made a quick effort to duck and succeeded in this event as the glass bottle hit the ceiling and shattered. Shattered glass fell all over the ground (and of course I was bear-footed at the time). My father, hearing this abrupt shatter jumped out of bed. My mother being a hard sleeper and all did not wake up to this sleep breaching sound."What's going on out-", my dad ran out of the room and immediately stepped on the broken glass. "Gggaaaahh", he yells in despair. With my father being helpless, the home invader saw this as a chance to strike and easily get rid of the man of the house. The home invader removed a knife of some sort from his pocket and made an attempt to stab my helpless father. But I was not going to let this tragedy lead to that so I picked up whatever the first thing I felt was on the ground (which just happened to be a real baseball bat) and threw it at the maniacal home invader. Said bat hit the home invader in the ribs and he fell to the ground, getting his own taste of broken glass souflea'! Both men (my father and home invader) yell in pain laying on the ground. I saw this as the perfect chance for me to run downstairs and call the police (who always seem to come late in my stories).I ran from my safe domain (my room) to the steps when as I was in the air the seemingly powerful home invader grabbed my leg. It looked as though I was to get an early breakfast of broken glass but I quickly put my hands on the ground and only my hand sustained somewhat cuts and bruises. I pulled away from the dastardly home invader and made a run for it down the steps. The home invader followed me and threw pieces of broken glass on the steps so I would either fall or severely cut my feet. Without thinking, I jumped on the stair railing and slid down like a ninja. The home invader wearing shoes of course followed but walked down the steps like a civilized human being (which is another ironic thing because he's the maniac). The home invader came at me with a sharp blade and started lunging! I dodged trying so hard just not to die. Any other person in the right mind would 've given up from the suspense and died, thinking they'd be happier playing video games in heaven. But not me, I still had more to live for instead of video games I still had blank blank blank blank! Yeah I know deep isn't it. I kicked the home invader in the stomach, and as I did this brave deed police sirens rang in front of my house.
Number 3: Mitchel vs. The URL theif (shown in My Beginning of Ownership!)
I busted into the room and there he was, the URL theif! He was facing the other direction on his office chair. "Heh heh, I've been waiting for you boahy (see Catchphrases article).", he said. He turned around in his chair and randomly started shooting a MACHINE GUN at ME!!!!! Bullets shot everywhere as I dived back out of the room and onto the side. "I thought you said you were going to complete this battle", said James. "I am! Gosh! Just because the guy has a machine gun doesn't mean I'm gonna immediately quit", I yelled. I removed 10 bouncy spheres out of my pocket. I then threw them into the room! Sure enough, the thief was distracted by these (that's sad that he gets distracted so easily)! I ran into the room and jumped over his desk kicking out of the window behind him. But, this maniac grabbed onto my leg and we both fell out of the window. We landed on a New Years balloon from the parade. "You're finished kid!", he swung his leg at me but I bounced up on the balloon! As I came down I punched multiple times at him but he blocked all of them with his bear hands. He than kicked me off of the balloon! Luckily, there was another balloon right under the one we were having an intense battle on. I bounced off of that one and made my way back to the other one. I kicked him in the chest but he punched me in the stomach. "Gah", I yelled in pain! I grabbed his leg and threw him off of the balloon. I anticipated that he would do the same thing I did so I followed him by jumping off of the balloon. He bounced back up and I (being right over him) kicked him back down and repeated this as long as I was in the air! When I lost my air time I landed on him stomping on his torso! His pure fatness popped the balloon and I was able to bounce back onto the original balloon! He layed on the ground suffering from pain and I forced him to give me back my URL. After all of that intensity, everyone rode back home, congratulating me.
Random Kid: Wow, those last three were hilarious am I right J.Severe?... J.Severe? (looks over)
J.Severe: Bwah hah ha haa! Did ya see when- ha haah hah!
Random Kid: Heh heh. Lets get out number 2 comin' to you!
Number 2: Random Kid and J.Severe vs. the Principal (shown in Random Kid and J.Severe!)
"Why are people YELLING! I HATE YELLING", the Principal yelled. "But you're yelling yet you hate it", pointed out J.Severe. The Principal abruptly lunged at J.Severe. "I"M SICK A YOU!!!"! J.Severe jumped back merely dodging the Principals hand by an inch!
"Watch out!", Random Kid yelled! The Principal picked up the fork holder and tossed it at the students! The students spread out yelling and screaming. "This Principals wilin'", someone shouted. The deranged Principal made a chase for J.Severe! Random Kid tried to protect him by jumping in front of the Principal and saying something witty! Though he was witty, that was the most foolish thing he could ever do and ever will do!
The Principal smacked Random Kid away with his bare hand! Random Kid was launced in to the table as it split in half! J.Severe tried desperately to escape the cafeteria without notice! But the Principal noticed!!
He rolled the table Random Kid had broke in half at J.Severe! The table rolled and hit J.Severe!!! It busted through the back cafeteria doors and hit the wall across. Seconds before it hit the wall, Random Kid and J.Severe jumped off of the table as it flipped over and busted to pieces when it hit the wall!
"I almost died", Random Kid cried out! But the Principal wasn't done yet! He followed the two out into the hall for a stand off!
Students were still panicking in the cafeteria, running around in circles wondering what the heck was going on! J.Severe whispered to Random Kid "Should we run or try to fight him?". "Random Kid whispered back "Are you insane!? Did you see how he tossed that table at you?!"."He'll kill us".
All of a sudden, as the Principal was ready for his next raid, the police busted into the school building! "Everybody freeze", they yelled.
'Random Kid: Now! Finally, Number 1!
J.Severe: The best of the best baby!
Random Kid: You're not talkin' to me are you?
J.Severe: Why of course not! What are you some kind of deranged lunatic!
Random Kid: Why of course not! I'm just a host and a typist is all.
J.Severe: Then why are we even having this conversation?
Random Kid: I don't know, we were about to announce number 1 of the top 5 most intense battles and then we just began all this gibberish and what not-
Random Girl in Audience: Hey! I came to see a special not trash talkin'!
J.Severe: Okay okay. Gees. No need to be pushy!
Random Kid: And Number 1 is... The-
Random Kid: What the heck?!
Dan: Uhh sir...
Random Kid: (covers eyes) Please don't tell me that was the Giant Flat Screen TV we payed $939.99 for.
J.Severe: Heh heh. Folks we're having some technical difficulties with the television. We'll have that Number 1 intense video for you as soon as we can order it and have it shipped.
Random Kid: (groan) Just move on to questions!
Questions from the Audience!
Random Kid: Okay, now, due to Dan's foolish ways, we'll be moving on to the questions sent in from people who may be in the audience. We'll even do some live questions for people who weren't able or didn't have the time to send in a letter to the staff.
J.Severe: Okay, maybe we'll start with this one (hands to Random Kid)
Random Kid: Hmm. Interesting. (opens envelope). It's from some person named Sally.
"Dear Random Kid, I've noticed that you and J.Severe get along very well. Is that Random Kid and J.Severe story really how it all started."
Random Kid: Interesting question Sally. Well there's only one way I can answer such a question. Your a fool is all! No offense or anything but do you really think I'd write such a lie on the internet.
Sally stands up in the crowd!
Sally: Well ya can't blame me! Some of that stuff is just plain impossible!
Random Kid: What?! Name one thing!
Sally: Well the Principal attacking you part!
Random Kid: How is that impossible?! I have a deranged Principal what's more to say?!
Random Kid: Don't let the the door hit ya on the way out! Correction, let the door hit ya on the way out! The more pain you feel the happier I am!
J.Severe: Now Random Kid. Lets not be rude to the poor girl. Anyway, what's this? One with hearts on it? It's for you Random Kid. (hands to Random Kid)
Random Kid: This better be a question, that's all I got to say. (opens envelope). It's from some random girl who put the name "Random Girl".
"Dear Random Kid, I LOOOOVVVVVEEEE YOU!"
Random Kid: 'What the HECK???!!!!!!
J.Severe: Sounds like you got a secret admirer.
Random Kid: (gasp) Next question! NOW!
J.Severe: Okay okay cassonova. (hands another envelope)
Random Kid: (opens envelope) From some guy named... Vilson?
"Dear J.Severe, I HATE you! You and Random Kid are just a bunch of fools!"
J.Severe: What the heck! (points to audience) Whoever you are Vilson, I'm gonna take you out boy!
This supposed Vilson character jumps up from the audience and dashes out of the studio exit!
J.Severe: Yeah! You better run!
Random Kid: Okay! That's it! Enough with the letters! Questions from the Audience is upon us! Raise your hands for questions you have for J.Severe and I.
Person raises hand.
J.Severe: This better not be anything insulting or else you're gonna be sorry!
Random Person: I believe you boys are blank years of age. Considering your reaction from that letter to you Random Kid, do you have any love intrests?
Random Kid: What?! How dare YOU!! First of all I am not blank years of age! And second of all, who the heck do you think you are asking such a question!?
J.Severe: Why would you even want to know that?!
Random Person: Heh heh... well. (runs out of door)
Random Kid: Well that was somewhat unexpected...
J.Severe: You in the front.
Other Random Person: Why did you create Stories and Info Wiki?
Random Kid: Well it all started on December 19th, 2009. I had just made my first decision to try and make a wiki. But I was a fool back then. I had no idea how to make a wiki. And soon I ended up on that foolish wikispaces. Somehow figuring out that I wasn't on the right organization, I eventually got help from J.Severe and the next day Stories and Info Wiki was born (not litteraly).
J.Severe: Yup! It was but a mere thought in the back of Random Kid's head in which eventually came to be a reality.
Random Kid: Now enough with these useless questions. We've spent too much time answering all this trash!
J.Severe: Now, it's about time for the special guest to be arriving. And look outside, there he is!
Audience: (looks out transparent door)
Someone in Audience: All there is is a jail transportation bus.
J.Severe: Yeah. That's what that maniac is being transported in.
The Special Guest!
Random Kid: Wait a minute. J.Severe you fool! Don't tell me you...
J.Severe: Yup, it's him all right.
The special guest walked in with 2 S.W.A.T. officers as an armed escort. This jailbird of a special guest was nonother than, A. Louis!
Audience: (gasp)...is it really him...yeah I think... why would they put us all in danger...
Thoughts ricoched around the room like a rubber ball.
A. Louis: (walks up steps to stage) (glares at J.Severe and Random Kid) I'm gonna kill you-
SWAT officer: Keep movin' ya criminal.
A. Louis: (plops down in chair next to Random Kid) What's up Kid?!
Random Kid: Shut yo mouth! We didn't even ask any questions yet!
J.Severe: So A. Louis, my foolish cousin, how have ya been in ya new room of a jail cell?!
A. Louis: (puts feet up) Pretty good. Even better than that room my fool of a father made me sleep in.
J.Severe: Hey boahy! Don't you ever insult my uncle that way!
A. Louis: Fine I'll insult you! You're the fool!
J.Severe: Why if I knew you would be such a jerk I would've never invited you here!
A. Louis: You're lucky I'm in these handcuffs!
Random Kid: Guys guys! And I thought I had problems with the guy.
Random Kid: So anyway, onto the questions!
Questions for the Guest
Random Kid: A. Louis, why did you go on to disrespecting the rules of JSW and SIW?
A. Louis: Cuz' I felt like it!
Random Kid: Okay... What problems did you have with Joel Severe Wiki that you attacked that first?
J.Severe: Well I can answer that. See, A. Louis and I had a long time rivalry. Eventually, A. Louis was overwhelmed with jealousy and attempted a foolish act to destroy my internet fame.
A. Louis: You got that right loser.
Random Kid: Didn't I say no insulting anyone! Anyways, A. Louis, is it true that you were a general if not leader of the Web War?
A. Louis: You bet it was me! And I even got about 15 of my friends to help me! You could've been on the winning side Random Kid, but you declined my offer!
J.Severe: What?! Winning side? Have you forgotten that YOU were the one arrested and defeated?!
A. Louis: Oh shutup. Who was even talkin' to you!?
J.Severe: I'm talkin' to you!
Random Kid: Enough! A. Louis, do you claim guilty against charges for starting the Web War?
A. Louis: What is this court?! But, even so yeah. I started it didn't I?
J.Severe: Good. Now you owe me $327.86.
A. Louis: What?!
Random Kid: He's right. My phone bill went up to about $1,000 dollars with more than $300 of that money from calling J.Severe's house to update him on the Web War.
J.Severe: And same here!
A. Louis: Oh well! I'm not givin' jack yo!
Random Kid: Excuse me? YO?! We don't use that foolish terminology in this studio boahy!
J.Severe: Security! Get this clown outta my studio!
Random Kid: Your studio? I'm the one who paid for it!
J.Severe: Actually your parents paid for all this, you don't earn a cent a day kid!
Random Kid: Me? A Kid?! I'm older than you "kid".
J.Severe: Wow, by a few months!
A. Louis: Shut yo mouths!
Random Kid: You shutup! No further questions! Now get outta here ya jail bird!
J.Severe: And get strangled by a shoelace while you're at it!
Random Kid: (huff puff) Now onto the Trivia!
J.Severe: Uh-oh, looks like the Specials coming to an end soon.
Random Kid: Well that's too bad!
Stories and Info Trivia
- Stories and Info Wiki is one of the only wikis out there that writes creative stories without profanity or any innapropriate things such as Uncyclopedia and Factual Nonsense Wiki would.
- And that's all the trivia we have folks!
Random Kid: What?! That's all the trivia we have?!
J.Severe: Well it's your fault, you're the admin on the wiki. You should've figured out more things about it!
Random Kid: Gimmie a break! It's only been running for 3 months! It's not even recognized by Wikia Central yet! Hey, that brings us to our problem of the 1/4 of the year people!
Random Kid: So what is the problem J.Severe?
J.Severe: I don't know. It just says on the schedule that we have to announce "The Problemo".
Random Kid: Folks, the problemo is that SIW isn't yet recognized by Wikia Central. Studies show that Wikia Central only recognizes wikis with over 100 to 10,000 articles. Yet SIW only has as of now 80 articles.
J.Severe: Meaning that Stories and Info Wiki is going to be in need of a third editor.
Random Kid: Yup. Deep ain't it? But that definetely doesn't mean that you can just disobey the rules and edit the wiki without permission. J.Severe and I will handle this our own way thank you. Who knows, it could be one of YOU in the audience!
Audience: (cheers wildly) YYYEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!
Random Kid: Now it's time, this Special is comin' to an end folks.
Random Kid: Sad sad sad.
Random Kid: But that is what must happen! For all that is truth and justice in the one called Specials!
A Sweet Ending! A Party with the wings!
Random Kid: Dan! Get the door for me will ya!
J.Severe: I wonder who that could be?
Dan: Sir! You won't believe it!
Random Kid: What?! What won't I believe!
Dan: The new Televisions here! And they even bought a present! 1,000 fried chicken wings!
Audience: (cheers so wildly)
J.Severe: Well. That's just plain ironic.
Random Kid: That is always the correct ending for a special like this! Chicken Wings to everyone!
Audience: (cheers even more wildly)
J.Severe: Rob! Get down here and have a chicken wing!
Rob: Yes sir!
Random Kid: (munch crunch) And now, for the Number 1 Intense Video on SIW!!
Audience: (cheers so wildly)
Television turns on and shows the Top #1 Intense Battle!
Number 1: Random Kid vs. J.Severe (shown in Random Kid and J.Severe!)
"Well you should be telling that to this nitwit over here", J.Severe yelled poking Random Kid. "Don't touch me with that thing", Random Kid yelled. He pushed J.Severe's hand away. J.Severe slapped the heck out of Random Kid! Random Kid threw a punch at J.Severe! "Hey!!"!
J.Severe fell back in the chair, hastily dodging Random Kids lunge! "I said hey! No scuffling", the guidance councelor screamed. But Random Kid lost control after that slap! Foaming from the mouth, he tackled J.Severe and punched him multiple times. "Dwaahh!!!", J.Severe yelled for justice!
The pacifist guidance councelor pulled Random Kid off of J.Severe. "Stop that boy!", she yelled. J.Severe jumped up, picked up the feld chair, and tossed it at the unsuspecting guidance councelor and Random Kid!!! "Take that ya dirty rat!", J.Severe yelled as he tossed the chair.
The guidance councelor jumped out of the line of fire as Random Kid stayed to take it like a man! Random Kid jumped over the chair as it hit the wall breaking into a billion pieces and leaving a hole in the wall! "I'm gonna KILL you!!", Random Kid yelled. Suddenly, school security busted into the guidance councelors room. "What the heck is going on in here?!!", one of the security guards yelled.
They put Random Kid and J.Severe in hancuffs to suppress them! As he fell on the ground, Random Kid yelled "Let me go! After I'm done with that guy over there you'll need tweezers to pick up his remains!!". "Shutup!", the security guard yelled.
The Principal, Assistant Principal, and Secretary ran into the room to apprehend the situation! "What the heck is going on?!! I send you to the guidance councelors office to work out your problems and you have an intense fight!! What the heck is wrong with you FOOLS?!!!", the annoyed Principal yelled. "My office NOW!!!!!".
And that's the end to that intense battle in the supposed most calm and non-violent room in the school...
Random Kid: Did all you folks like that?!!??!
Audience: (cheers wildly)
J.Severe: Did all you folks agree with that??!!!
Audience: YEEEAAHHH!!!!!Random Kid: And that ends, the SIW 1/4 Anniversary Special!
Producer: Random Kid
Director: Wikia Central Attendent
Special Guest Host: J.Severe
Special Questioned Guest: A. Louis
Audience: Random People
Writer: Random Kid
Narrator: Random Person
Note Senders: Sally, Random Girl, Vilson
Questioned People in Audience: Paul, Christopher