You probably know this already but I'm a very successful person. Now, you might think, "How could such a boy become so successful?". And if you aren't thinking that you're just a fool is all. Anyways, here's an entertaining story of how I came to save this entire earth! Yep, you wouldn't be here right now if it weren't for this guy right here. You should thank me sometime, perhaps leave a supporting comment on that link up there.
But before we start that story, let's recap how I came to walk this earth;
Twas blank blank blank. An intense snowstorm raged as my grandmother sped down the highway! "I've gotta get to the hospital!", Grandmother yelled. Her friend sat in the passenger seat hanging on for dear life! "Calm down", Aunt screamed in the backseat. Meanwhile, at the blank hospital my father held my mothers hand as she screamed in pain! Grandmother busted into the hospital room yelling and screaming! "Where's my Grandson?!" she yelled! "What the?!", Dr. Blank yelled in shock! "WAAAHHH!!!!", Mother screamed! Everything was silent. The few civilians in the hospital room had just experienced the miracle of life. I, Random Kid, was just born. "So what should we name him?", Mother asked Father. "Well, I think we should record his life story on the internet...", Father replied. "That's not what I asked you!", Mother yelled. "But I'm just saying. If the kid should grow up to own one of the greatest websites on the internet there is, then we shouldn't use just any regular name", Father corrected. "He needs to have a name that no one else will ever have! A name like "Random Kid".", Father said with sparkle in his eye. "Random Kid?! What kind of name is that!?", Mother retorted. Suddenly, "Goo gah!", I yelled. "Sounds like he likes it", Father said. "Or should I say, sounds like Random Kid likes it". And thus, Random Kid was my name.
And it's a true story. My name IS Random Kid... or... well... you know... it's my pseudonym... my real name is... well... let's just say it's cool. Definetely not something like Vilson or Craig or anything, that's just ludicrous. Oh no, I just revealed some critical information! I just kicked out 2 choices that could've been suggested as my real name. This brings people who want to end me even closer to my real name! Anyways, let's get on with the story, what do you say?
Boss: Did you really have to do ALL that?
Life Before the Stories and Info WikiEdit
Random was just a poor boy, trying to find his place in the world. He was an aspiring "unofficial" author, who stood for justice and equal rights for all. Why Random Kid did this? No, it wasn't because he wanted to copy Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., it was because Random Kid was a unique boy. Alot of folks see that in this guy, although some are filled with jealousy at this guy's talents, aand choose to make fun of him, some even attempt to kill him! Yep, true story. What? You don't believe me. Well how dare you not believe that people are jealous of moi! Or as the common teen says these days, they are "haters." Quite foolish if you ask me.
Creating the Stories and Info WikiEdit
There are many legends of how this wiki came to be, some are humorous tales, and some are intense journey's. But it really all started that faithful December 19th day. After a hard day at school, I came home to relieve some of the stress put on me by teachers. So, I casually went on the computer and on to random websites. That's when I thought to myself "I wonder how I could have a website?". Just a few day's ago, I was notified of my best friends website (or formally called a wiki), the Joel Severe Wiki.
But what was this new fandangled wiki they all spoke of. So, I decided I would make a wiki. One problem, I had no idea how to. So I just typed in wiki on Google. There came up something called Wikispaces, so I went on it and successfully created a wikispace running only for entertainment. The next day, I realized it wasn't anything like the Joel Severe Wiki. That's when I saw that the JSW top of the screen said Wikia, and my website's top said Wikispaces! I was on a completely diferent organization. After some help, I successfully created a new wiki and deleted my old one!
But what was I going to call it? I thought and thought and realized "If this wiki were going to have stories, then I should name it after stories!" But, I asked myself and said it a few times, "Stories Wiki". Did that really sound catchy. No matter how many times I said it. It needed one of two more acronyms. Then, I realized that some stories could even be informational! But then again, Stories and Information Wiki? That didn't sound right either. So, I shortened it. Thus, the Stories and Info Wiki was created.
The Stories and The InfoEdit
Now I needed to make pages on the wiki. I was already a great author, so you could guess that there were more stories than informational articles. By the time that the 100th Article rolled around, the SIW was filled with all sorts of genres of stories... yet only one or two informational articles. This was unfair. The wiki was named the Stories and Info Wiki, making the stories and the informational articles with equal balance. So we needed more info, thus, informational articles tab was made in Articles and Stories and informative articles here on the wiki began to grow both in numbers and sizes. But we also needed more help to work on the wiki, so a registration page was created. Still, the wiki didn't have many editors, and that is still being worked on to this day.
Random is still living life as a normal person. Often, he looks back and says to himself, "What would I be doing right now if I hadn't created the Stories and Info Wiki?" There is still no answer to that, and don't try to answer it boahy or you'll be sorry! Anyway, that's about it. Random's life was full of action, drama, adventure, romance... well... n-never mind about that last one. And thus, Random's life story is told.
Or at least the cut version of his story... if you want to hear the uncut version, just read below.
The Uncut VersionEdit
What the-- ?! Who put this here? Do you really want to know the uncut version of my life folks? Well... I suppose I'll have to tell you then. What the readers want the readers get. Anyways, here we go.
It was the night I was born, unbeknownst to them, my mother and father were driving to the movies. As they waited for a space in the parking lot, an eerie presence awaited them. Suddenly, dad spotted a giant wrecking being hurled at them from the truck! "What the-- ?!", Dad yelled. He jumped out of the car, pulling Mom out with him! Their car was hit with the wrecking ball and sent hurling into the night! A few seconds later, a giant explosion was heard off in the distance, followed by constant screaming! "What just happened?!", Mom asked Dad. "I don't know!", Dad replied, looking around and paranoid.
Just then, they spotted another wrecking ball coming straight for them! "Go!", Dad exclaimed, pushing Mom out of the way and jumping, both of them nearly hit with the wrecking ball! "The baby!", Mom screamed. "No, the baby's not being born now is it?!", Dad asked. "Not yet, but I'm worried it'll get hurt!", Mom said. "Well worry about YOUR life and the baby's!", Dad said, looking around. Then, a creepy voice shouted into a loud speaker.
- mother and father's real names not used for security reasons.
"Haha!! [FATHER'S NAME INHELD]] and [MOTHER'S NAME INHELD], we meet again.", the creepy voice said into the loud speaker. "Y-You!", Dad yelled. "Who is it?", Mom asked. "Don't you recognize that voice? It's him!", Dad said. "Who is "him?", Mom asked again. "Oh my gosh, HIM!", Dad exclaimed. "Who is HIM!?", Mom asked a third time. "Don't remember me eh, [MOTHER'S NAME INHELD]. Tis I, Tim!", the voice called out.
"What? Who's Tim?", Mom asked. "Don't you remember a few years back, senior year?", Dad asked. "Not really.", Mom replied. "Sigh, memory loss. It's Timothy Redwood, he's returned!", Dad exclaimed. "What the-- ?! Timothy Redwood?! Didn't he try to kill us on our first date?!", Mom asked. "Yes, him! He was ALWAYS jealous of me! And the second I started dating you, he went hostile!", Dad explained. "Oh yeah. Timothy you BEAST!!!", Mom yelled. "Heh heh, I'll destroy both of you!", Tim exclaimed, and pulled the lever in the truck! The wrecking ball came back for more!
"DOO-WAAH!", Dad yelled, and jumped to the ground! "Duck!", Mom screamed, and ducked. The wrecking ball literally just missed them! "Whoa! This dude is wilin'!", Mom screamed again. "Sigh, I guess I'll have to do this manually.", Timothy said to himself. Whilst Mom and Dad were distracted by the dangerous wrecking ball, Timothy quietly snuck over.
He punched at Mom! But Dad jumped in front of him and punched him in the nose! "Take that you dirty piece of trash! Otherwise known as Wilson Paul!", Dad shouted. "Isn't he having a son too?", Mom asked. "Yep, sadly the same age as ours. AND we live in the same town. Meaning that our son will have to suffer the same annoying fate we went threw, I mean, the guy's so weird. He said he'll name his son's first letter the letter behind W, but with the same other 5 letters.", Dad explained. Mom shook her head in disgust. Suddenly, Tim regained conciousness and kicked Dad in the chin! "Gah!", Dad yelled in pain. He bent his body back and jumped, doing a backflip away from Tim! He then proceeded to elbow Tim in his stomach, and trip him on the ground!
"This is for risking my son's life!", Dad stated, before ruthlessly punching Tim out cold...
"Well, now that that's over. What do you say we catch the rest of that movie?", Dad asked. "Uh... no thanks.", Mom said, seeming strange and holding her stomach. "What? Just cause' I punched a guy out cold you lost your desire to see an old classic? The Wizard of Oz?", Dad asked. "No uh... the baby.", Mom replied, somewhat sourly. "Huh? Oh. Him? He's out called, the baby's gonna be fine.", Dad replied. "Mom jumped up and smacked Dad across the face! "Ouch! What was that for?" The baby is about to be born you idiot!", Mom yelled. "Oh... well... what's that number we call again?", Dad asked, wearily. "(grunt) Gimmie that! (takes Dad's cell phone and dials 911)" "Oh yeah, y'know. That's a pretty hard number to remember.", Dad said. "Are you drunk?!", Mom asked angrily. "No, but I had an all out brawl with my greatest rival. That takes alot out of you.", Dad said. Just then, the ambulance arrived. And thus... I was born. But then...
I was at the tender age of six. My parents and I were taking a stroll through the park. "Say Dad, do you feel an eerie presence trying to get a jump on us?", I asked. "No, why?", Dad asked. "I don't know. I just have an uneasy feeling.", I said, looking around. "No one's going to try to get a jump on us.", Mom reassured. Suddenly, gunshots were heard behind us! "Whoa!", Dad said and jumped onto the ground! Mom grabbed me and also jumped on the ground! I turned around to see what was going on, when I spotted a shady character slauntering forth at us! "What the-- ?! Watch out!", I yelled, and got up. The shady character lunged forth at Dad! He jumped up and went head to head with him!
"Who are you?!", Dad asked. "What are you doing, [FATHER'S REAL NAME INHELD]! Run!", Mom exclaimed. "It's him!", Dad yelled.
The shady character punched at Dad. But Dad dodged his fist and kicked at him! The shady character grabbed Dad's leg and swung him around ferociously! He threw Dad onto the ground! "You... BEAST!!!", Dad exclaimed, and rolled over as the shady character attempted to kick him! He jumped and punched the shady character in the stomach! The shady character punched Dad back in the stomach! It was an all out brawl! Dad kicked at the shady character but he jumped back and lunged forth! Dad rolled on the ground past him and appeared behind him! He elbowed him in the back! The shady character flew forth! Dad then appeared in front of him and kicked him in the stomach!
The shady character fell onto the ground in pain. Dad was about to make a hasty retreat, when I yelled, "Dad, look out!" Dad turned around only to see a black van driving straight toward them! Dad, Mom and I jumped out of the way as the van swerved back and stopped right in front of us! We all layed vunerable as two more shady characters pulled us in the van and drove away!
This time there was no escape! We were all tied up in a van going about 100 miles per hour down a highway. "What's going on?", I asked my parents. "He's returned.", Dad said, worriedly. "Who?", Mom asked. "Don't you remember. Six years ago when [RANDOM KID'S REAL NAME INHELD] was born?", Dad asked. "Uh, not really.", Mom said. "Sigh. When Timothy Redwood returned!", Dad exclaimed.
Warning: Since as this IS the Uncut Version of the story, I will not hold back on any excessive amounts of violence. I'm telling it exactly how it happened. Which you should've noticed already.
"Shutup!", the driver exclaimed and elbowed Dad in the chest. "Gak!", Dad coughed. "You... BEAST!!! What are your true intentions?!", I asked. "Shutup boy, unless you want to end up gasping for air like your father over here.", the driver threatened. "You shutup!", I retorted, feeling powerful. The driver reached in the backseat to try to get at me! I knew he would do such a thing and take his eyes off of the road, so I moved around so he coudn't grab me.
That is, until the van crashed into a car and flipped over it! The truck landed on the side of the road, upside down. Everyone was injured... except the driver who was dead. I managed to un-tie the rope around me, and un-tied the ropes around Mom and Dad. Together, we all crawled outside of the van, noticing it was on fire and could explode any minute. "(gasp, gasp) [RANDOM KID'S REAL NAME INHELD]? You okay?", Dad asked. "Uh, yeah. None of my bones are broken.", I said, cheerfully. "Good, but I'm not. You'll have to take down Tim once and for all.", Dad said weakly. "What? Why?", I asked, somewhat scared. "Cause' you are okay. I have a broken arm and a broken leg. My whole left side is injured, I can't fight off a murderous maniac like that.", Dad lamented.
Just then, I turned around only to see the same shady character from the park slowly edging toward me! "It's him. Take him down son.", Dad encouraged. Tim punched at me! I ducked and kicked him in the stomach! He flinched and backed up! I punched him in his nose! He grabbed my arm and threw me into a tree. He then took out a pocket knife and slashed at me! I managed to dodge a deadly threat, the knife only slashed through my arm, leaving a cut going across my arm. I held my arm in an attempt to stop the bleeding, but Tim kicked me in the nose while I was vulnerable.
I fell to the ground in pain, I had to escape. I tried running, but Tim caught up and threw me to the ground. I tried punching and kicking, but Tim apprehended to my techniques. I'd thought it was all over. Just as he was about to deliver the final blow, I took the knife from him and slashed all the way through his whole body. "What the-- ?!", we both exclaimed. Neither one of us knew I could do such a thing. I also thought Tim was going to fall apart, but he didn't. He just stood frozen. So I kicked the guy and the two halves of his body split apart and he fell onto the ground. Blood spewing everywhere.
And THAT, is how I saved mine and my parents lives. Note: The Uncut Version may not be 100% true...