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The Times Square Bombing!

Uh, yes, I'd like honey mustard. Huh?... Oh. It's YOU! Well, I guess since you're here I gotta talk to you, eh. Fine, then. Let's see. What's on my agenda? Hmm... Ah, here we go! The Times Square bombing. Why are we talking about this? Didn't people die?

Guy: Uh... no. The bomb failed to go off.

Ha! Take that you stupid terrorist! In.. the face!

Guy: However...

However? However?! HOWEVER?! However what, you fat piece of trash?!

Guy: The bomb had every ability to go off and explode.

Well... but it didn't. So that means them terrorists are even dumber than I previously thought!

Guy: Or they could be planning that as a trap.

Random Guy, say WHAT?!

Guy: Yes. Perhaps it was a trick. Maybe they are trying to see how fast we would respond to the situation.

Well we won! And what's more, we caught the guy who planted the bomb before he was able to escape to his own country!

Guy: Why, for all we know, this could be part of an even BIGGER terrorist plot to take over the world!

What the --?! I'm used to that in stories, but when it's happening right in my own country... Tsyaaaah!

Guy: And there's another thing that I should point out.

What? Go on. Spit it out.

Guy: Okay. PTOOEY!

I didn't mean literally spit it out, you buffoon! I meant talk!

Guy: You did?

Yes. Yes I did.

Guy: Okay then.

(Silence)

Go on, you butt cheek!

Guy: Sorry. Also, have you noticed that the guy who planted the bomb is Muslim?

He is? Of the religion Islam?

Guy: Yeppers. And have you noticed the South Park recently aired an episode that made fun of the prophet Muhammad?

Where are you going with this?

Guy: Muhammad is an important religious figure in the Islamic religion. And after that certain South Park episode aired, Muslims sent death threats to the creators of the show?!

That's too intense!

Guy: Yeah, and get this. The van with the bomb in it was suspiciously parked near the "Viacom" headquarters, which was believed to have been the company that owned Comedy Central, which broadcasted that episode of South Park.

See?! I always knew South Park was bad! Now it almost cost the lives of hundreds of Americans! Curse you, Trey Parker and Matt Stone!

Guy: But the U.S. Constitution calls for the freedom of speech. So Trey and Matt have the right to post offensive things without being threatened with their life!

I see. So it seems not only is the future of adult cartoons in jeopardy, but the whole world as well! What are we gonna do?

Guy: Only time will tell. Well, the commercial of my soap opera is over. I'd better get back to the TV.

You watch soap op... N-never mind. The point is, despite all this controversy, you should enjoy life every day. Because you never know when it might end... O_O

Aftermath

Okay, now that that's over.. What the heck?! A NUCLEAR BOMB! Dwaaaaah!


BOOM!


Gasp... gasp... What just happened?

Mom: You only had a bad nightmare. Go back to sleep.

Oh... heh... I bet you guys thought that an actual bomb had hit me and life as I knew it was over. Well, think again! Now what in the world are you doing here? Don't you have some articles to read or somethin'? Beat it you fat cow!


The End!


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